Back-to-school shopping may be one of the only reasons kids get excited about going back to school. But, as a parent, how do you set realistic expectations for your fashion savvy students about what to wear, and maybe more importantly, what NOT to wear?
Dr. Kristy Hagar, a child psychologist at
Children's Medical Center Dallas offers tips to help parents
make the most of back-to-school shopping by following a few simple steps:
Should I let my teen pick out her own clothes?
Be flexible when you can, but remember that most schools have a dress code. Clothing choices are often a form of expression for children and teens. Teens, especially, see clothing as part of their personal identity, so allowing them to make their own choices, within reason, of course, is important.
When do I step in if her choices are inappropriate?
Set the stage before leaving the house that the shopping is for appropriate back-to-school clothes, and that parents will have "veto power" when it comes to some clothing choices * no ifs, ands, or buts. Be as specific as you can about the types of clothes that are definitely off-limits. If your teen picks something that you know you will not buy, tell her at the clothes rack, not once she has it on in the dressing room!
Should I support his choices, even if I disagree?
Yes, within reason of course. If he is adamant about something he wants, and it is on the shopping list and within the right price range, then parents may want to go ahead and allow their teen to get it. This can send an important message that although parents and teens can disagree on style, parents support their teen's individuality and sense of self.
Should I take it personally if he rebels?
Not at all. In fact, a child or teen appropriately voicing disagreement with a parent's clothing suggestions is totally normal. Throwing a tantrum because you've told him "no" is inappropriate. Stick to your guns and don't give in, even if they threaten to hate you forever. However, if they can provide a reasonable argument of why they want something, try to keep an open mind.
Is it too late to voice my opinions when she's in the dressing room?
No. all of us have seen something that looked great on the hanger, only to try it on and find it's not as flattering. If your teen picks something inappropriate, tell her before she tries it on. If it is on the agreed-upon list but isn't very flattering once she's tried it on, offer advice and suggestions in
a positive way.
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