When my husband and I announced that we would be having a new baby, my five-year-old son Joey asked, "Why?" Not exactly, the response we were expecting. There's not one right time or perfect way to tell a child about an impending sibling. Just consider your own comfort level and your child's maturity level.

Being older, he was able to understand the concept of time, but many younger children might be disappointed if the baby doesn't arrive the next day. You can use the seasons as a gauge. For example, "The baby will be here when it is very cold out."

It is good to explain what newborns are like. For example, let them know babies cry (some cry a lot) and they like it when you talk to them and make funny faces. Explain to them they could help with changing diapers, bathing the baby, and singing and reading to the baby.

With all of the changes that a new baby can bring, some older kids might struggle with the adjustment. If your child expresses no interest in the baby, don't be alarmed and don't force it. It can take time. Also, remind relatives and friends that your older child might want to talk about something other than the new baby.

Sibling jealousy can begin during pregnancy. As your body changes and your stamina wanes, it may be hard to lift or play with a toddler. Some toddlers adjust easily to this change, but for many it can be difficult. Your little one may engage in attention-getting behaviors, become demanding or cry easily. By preparing your child and taking some steps to help her adjust, you can help avoid some of the feelings that cause these changes in behavior.

Dr. William Sears, pediatrician, father of eight children and author of over 30 books on childcare, offers the following advice:

• If possible, try to be around new babies so your youngster can see what they look like or how they are held and fed.
• Show her simple children's books about new babies. Show pictures of when she was a tiny baby and tell her about all the things you did for her.
• For older children already in school, include them on special doctor visits, such as the three-month visit when you are likely to first hear baby's heartbeat or the visits that will include an ultrasound. Usually by the fifth or sixth month, children can feel their baby brother or sister move.
• Encourage baby bonding. Invite your children to talk to and about the baby. Babies can hear around 23 weeks of age, so this is a good time for the kids to start talking to the baby so he or she will get to know them. After about three months of this, their voices will be very familiar to the baby still in utero, and bonding will already be under way. Studies show that babies tend to turn toward voices they recognize right after birth.

Take advantage of sibling visits if allowed by your hospital. This helps reinforce the birth as an intimate family event.

It is good to keep your child's routine as normal as possible in the weeks before and after the birth. If you plan to make any room shifts to accommodate the baby, do it a few weeks before your due date.

When your baby naps or is with daddy, take the opportunity to play with your toddler or read to her, rather than running around the house doing chores.

I will end with a poem that was given to me on a plaque during my first pregnancy. I heeded this advice.

"Cleaning and Scrubbing
Can wait 'til tomorrow
For babies grow up
We've learned to our sorrow
So quiet down cob webs
Dust go to sleep
I'm rocking my baby
And babies don't keep."

By Marianna Randazzo, teacher and mother who learned as much from her children as they learned from her!