Love ’em or hate ’em, the Super Moms of the world are out there. They’re the overachievers of parenting, and we often find ourselves trying, maybe a little too hard, to be the most super mom of them all. So which one are you?
Super Healthy Mom – Her kids don’t have a clue what gluten is, but they are terrified of it. She’d rather die than be seen holding a Happy Meal. Also, GMO’s are sure to be the cause of earth’s apocalypse. She told me so.
Super Workout Mom – Somehow her post-pregnancy body is even better than her pre-pregnancy one. Maybe because she actually wears yoga pants TO DO YOGA.
Super Career Mom – People often ask this mom “HOW do you do it all?” but no one really knows the answer. Her mysterious ability to be both a boss at work (literally) and also be a boss at home is seemingly impossible, but somehow she does it. And she’s got the financial ability to purchase a decent home in 21st century America to show for it. Kudos.
Super Clean House Mom – You know how you turn into a psychotic house-scrubbing maniac every time company is coming over? Well Super Clean House Mom is like that all the time, even without the looming threat of some snarky relative pointing out that the blades on the ceiling fan need to be vacuumed or whatever. Not a single speck of dirt occupies a surface in her home. I’d be impressed, if I weren’t so busy looking at my dusty fan blades.
Super Well-Behaved Kids Mom – Is it positive reinforcement? Negative reinforcement? Whatever it is, she’s doing something right. Her kids are seriously flawless. Come to think of it, there’s actually a good chance that they’re aliens. And they really need to head back to their home planet, because they’re making the rest of us look bad.
Super PTA Mom – Super PTA Mom wants to change the world, one bake sale at a time. And thank goodness for that, because someone has to deal with all those pesky school politics and holiday fairs. PTA meetings make socially anxious parents want to crawl under a rock, so thank goodness for parents who truly care about the school budget.
Super Fun Mom – If moms were government organizations, this one would be the post office. Neither snow, nor hail, nor rain, nor sleet will keep this determined mama indoors with her kids. She’s at the park, the museum, the movies, the zoo, the amusement park, and occasionally the NASA Space Station boarding a rocket ship for a family tour of the moon.
Super Popular Mom – This mom boasts a pretty impressive lineup of BFF’s, especially for someone at least a decade or two out of college. Her kids’ playdate schedule is booked solid thru next year, and she actually still talks to people ON THE PHONE. Like, just to say hi and stuff.
Super Holiday Mom – She has the kids’ Halloween costumes purchased in August, Christmas shopping finished by September, and Easter baskets ready to go in February. Her outdoor decorations seem to defy the laws of physics, with displays that occasionally cause traffic accidents on her street. Her Elf on the Shelf has a more exciting life than most Hollywood celebrities and some suspect her husband is Santa Claus himself.
Super Pregnant Mom – She’s nine months pregnant, wheeling a double stroller through the supermarket with one arm, and pushing a cart full of groceries with the other. She accomplishes more in her third trimester of pregnancy than some people do in their entire life. It’s almost as though she doesn’t even realize there’s a person living inside her.
Super Not Super at All Mom – I’ll let you in on a little secret: Super Moms don’t really exist. A Super Mom is only “super” on the surface. Beneath the façade of awesomeness is a regular mom, like you and me, who is just as flawed as everyone else. It’s great to be inspired by her, but try not to be too envious. Super Jealous Mom is not a Super Mom at all.