Archives for October 2019

My 15-year-old son and I were planning to attend his high school’s Mother-Son Brunch. We were asked to send in two pictures of ourselves with our son for a then and now slide show presentation. Finding a current picture of the two of us was easy. I had some on my phone that we had taken at Christmas.

I dug out the photo albums to find an older picture of the two of us, because let’s face it, my electronic filing system of pictures is a hot mess. As I flipped through photo albums, I found tons of pictures of my son – at birth, in preschool, playing soccer, at school events and holidays. But I struggled to find one of just him and me.

My son is the youngest of three, so most of the pictures I took of him in the early days include his sisters or all five of us. There are even several of him and his dad doing “boy things.” After an hour of searching, I had come up with three pictures of just the two of us. Three! For each picture, I remember another mom asking me if I would like her to take a picture of us (probably hoping I would, in exchange, take a picture of her and her son).

Frustrated that I only had a few pictures of my son and me alone, I searched for some of me and my daughters. Sadly, I ran into the same problem. Why weren’t there any pictures of me and my kids alone? And then it hit me. I was never in the pictures because it was my job to take the pictures.

When I look back at the photographs of my son smiling ear to ear, I have to assume that I was smiling, too. Those were happy times in his life and important enough to want to save and remember again another day. I only felt it was important to catch his reaction of the event. My reaction, from the other side of the camera, was simply pride.

I guess that is how life is supposed to be. We are meant to stand across from our children and watch their lives happen. It gives us a better perspective to help guide them through their lives, warning them of upcoming turns or bumps in the road. When you are standing next to your child, you have a tendency to want to take the lead, the credit and the blame.

While I regret not being able to look back on my younger self in my son’s pictures, I have to remember that those moments were not about me. I already had my first trip to Disney, special Halloween costumes and school awards ceremonies. Those were my moments. The funny thing is, when I look back at the pictures of my moments, my parents must have stood somewhere outside the frame, too.

If I would have captured myself at my son’s moments, I would have pictures of a younger me sitting in chairs on the sideline, holding everyone’s things, cheering, yawning, crying, checking my watch, talking to the people around me and clapping at all the right times. There might even be pictures of me on my phone, catching up on social media while waiting for my son to do his thing.

One day my son might look back at the pictures and notice that I am not in very many of them. I will tell him I was there, just on the other side of the camera, smiling as I watched him grow into the person he is today.

By Pam Molnar, a mother of three and a founding member of Unorganized Photos Anonymous. Despite lack of a filing system, she has captured some of the best moments in her kids’ lives.  

Pros and Cons You Should Consider Before You Signing

Ready to rent or buy a new place to call home? Don’t make this important
decision without carefully considering what’s best for you and your financial future. 

At one time, it was a given that everyone wants to become a homeowner eventually. But now many people are reconsidering whether ownership is all it’s cracked up to be.

“Choosing whether to rent or buy is one of the most important financial decisions you’ll ever make,” says financial expert and best-selling author Eric Tyson, MBA, author of Personal Finance in Your 20s & 30s For Dummies. “Though owning a home and investing in real estate may pay off well over the long term, renting also has its advantages. To make the best decision, you need to understand your current personal and financial situation and think carefully about what matters to you now and what you think will matter to you in the future.”

Tyson says asking yourself some tough questions may help you clarify your feelings about choosing to rent or buy. Questions like: Would I rather pay more and live in a vibrant city, or enjoy a quieter life in a less populated area? Am I sure I want to stay in my current neighborhood, city, or state? Am I planning to start a family—and where do I see myself living when I start one? Do I want to buy a starter home now, or rent for a few years and then buy a larger house later on? Would I rather own a great home now, and have less money overall for travel and leisure?

Next, it’s important to carefully weigh the pros and cons of renting and owning before you choose what is right for you. Read this article to learn the pros and cons of renting and buying a home.

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Renting Pros

You aren’t responsible for fixing up the property. “When you rent, you don’t have to worry about the headache of maintaining your home,” says Tyson. “That’s your landlord’s job.”
You have more financial and psychological flexibility. Especially in your younger years, you may not be sure that you’ll stay with your current employer or chosen career. Should you change direction in the future, you can generally do so a lot more easily as a renter than you can as a homeowner.

You can have all your money in financial assets that you can tap into more easily. Some people enter their retirement years with a substantial portion of their wealth tied up in their home, a challenge that you don’t face when renting.

It’s a great opportunity to test living in an area where you may want to buy. Renting gives you a chance to try out the area in which you think you’d most like to buy.

It may help you achieve big financial goals. If you can consistently save 10 percent or more of your earnings, which you may be able to do through a low-cost rental, you’re probably on track to achieving your financial goals.”

Renting Cons

When you rent, your entire monthly rent is subject to inflation. Of course, living in a rent-controlled unit is the exception to this rule.

Landlords tend to want long-term tenants. Most landlords prefer tenants who are stable renters and who remain for long periods of time.

You don’t get to own the property. After paying all that rent, the property isn’t yours at the end of the day.

Home Ownership Pros

With a fixed-rate mortgage, your monthly payment never increases. However, your property taxes, homeowners insurance, and maintenance expenses will likely increase with the cost of living.

As a homeowner, you build equity in your property. That equity can be significant by the time you retire.

Owning may cost less than renting in some areas. This is especially true if you have the opportunity to buy at lower prices that occur after a decline in home values (usually around the time of a recession).

Mortgage interest and property tax payments for your home are generally tax-deductible. And in the early years of your mortgage, nearly all of your payment goes toward interest, Tyson adds. Be aware, however, that under the new tax laws, mortgage interest is deductible for up to $750,000 of mortgage debt, and your property taxes and state income deduction is capped at $10,000 per year.

It’s a good option if you’re planning to stay put. Financially speaking, buying a home begins to make more financial sense if you anticipate being in your home for three to five years or more.

There are plenty of options in the real estate market. When buying, you’re sure to find a housing option that’s right for you. In addition to single-family homes, you also have higher-density options like condominiums, townhomes, and cooperatives. If you don’t have the time, energy, or desire to keep up a property, shared/higher density housing may make sense for you.

And remember: In a good real estate market, all types of housing appreciate, although single-family homes tend to do best.

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Home Ownership Cons

You could end up overpaying or paying more than you can afford. Buying a home can be financially rewarding, but owning a property is a big financial commitment that may backfire if you get in over your head or overpay.

Putting 20 percent down is a steep price for twentysomethings. “Many people, especially people in their 20s, don’t have enough cash on hand to make the standard down payment of about 20 percent of the property’s purchase price,” says Tyson. “Yet this is the percentage needed to avoid the added cost of private mortgage insurance (PMI) required by lenders.”
The associated costs with buying are also high. Buying and selling a property entails a lot of expenses, including the cost of getting a mortgage, inspection expenses, moving costs, real estate agents’ commissions, and title insurance. To cover these transaction costs plus the additional costs of ownership, a property needs to appreciate about 15 percent during the tenure of your ownership. If you think it is cheaper to omit some inspections like pest inspection, for example, White Horse Pest Management can assure you that a pest problem can literally turn your life upside down. So, it is best to order an inspection and know the real condition of the property you are planning to buy.

Your mortgage may not get approved. When you’re under contract to buy a property, having your loan denied after waiting several weeks can mean you lose the property as well as the money you spent applying for the loan and having the property inspected. This is a risk you’ll have to take in order to secure a loan.

“Regardless of whether you rent or buy, you will devote a significant amount of money to your housing expenses over the course of a lifetime,” concludes Tyson. “This is a momentous decision, so make sure you’re making decisions based on what is right for you—not what was right for your parents or even what’s right for other people your own age. Take a long, honest look at your life and your financial goals. Eventually, the right solution for you and your financial situation will become clear, and you can make a decision you feel good about.”

By Eric Tyson, MBA and author of Personal Finance in Your 20s & 30s For Dummies.

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Every parent has a stash of crackers and pretzels or big bowl of fruit somewhere in their kitchen, ready and waiting for little hands and grumbling bellies. But after a long day of tests or during a afterschool play date, your kids deserve better than a boring bag of chips. Try these yummy pick-me-ups instead.

PB&J Fries

Ingredients
4 slices bread
Peanut Butter or substitute another spread
Jelly
1 tsp. butter
Powdered sugar (optional)

Directions
1. Make a sandwich and then cut off the crusts. Don’t overfill.
2. Flatten out with rolling pin and then cut into strips.
3. Melt a teaspoon in pan over medium heat.
4. Add your strips and fry up and both sides.
5. Sprinkle with powdered sugar and serve.
~ From Momdot.com

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Ham & Cheese Apple Wraps

Ingredients
Apple slices
Deli ham (you can use turkey or other deli meat of your choice)
Cheddar cheese, thickly sliced and cut into triangles

Directions
1. Arrange a piece of cheddar cheese on one apple wedge.
2. Wrap ham around the middle of the apple and cheese.
3. To keep the apples from browning, brush the slices with lemon juice after coring and slicing.
~ From MOMables.com

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Fresh Orange Smoothie

Ingredients
4 fresh oranges, peeled
2 cups ice
1/3 cup milk (your preference – regular, soy, coconut, etc.)
1-2 tablespoons honey (or agave or your desired sweetener), if needed
1 teaspoon vanilla extract (optional)

Directions
Combine all ingredients in a blender, and blend until smooth. Add more ice if you like. Makes 4-5 cups.
~ From GimmeSomeOven.com

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Banana and Nutella Sushi

Ingredients
2 Soft taco flour tortillas
2 Bananas
4 tablespoon Nutella

Directions
1. Microwave tortillas on paper towel for 10 seconds to soften
2. Spread each tortilla with 2 tablespoons Nutella
3. Peel banana and place the banana on top of your Nutella coating
4. Roll tortillas tightly around the banana
5. Slice into half inch pieces like sushi
~ From YummiestFood.com

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Strawberry Granola Yogurt Bark

Ingredients
24 oz container of plain or vanilla Greek yogurt
2 teaspoons of honey
1 cup of strawberries, sliced
1 cup of granola

Directions
1. In a small bowl (or even in the yogurt container), mix together honey and yogurt.
2. Spread the mixture into the bottom of a 9″x13″ pan that has been covered in aluminum foil.
3. Sprinkle the strawberries and the granola over the top of the yogurt, slightly pressing it into the yogurt with your hands.
4. Freeze for about an hour, or until completely frozen.
5. Remove from freezer, and cut into about 12 slices (you might want to use a pizza cutter). Serve immediately, or keep in freezer in a freezer-safe bag or container for up to 30 days.
~ From SixSistersStuff.com

Tips to Avoid Having Your Child Zone Out In Front of a Screen

For decades parents have worried about the impact of technology on their children, especially in early childhood. Today, tech insiders are outing software creators for making their products purposely addictive and the World Health Organization just classified “addiction to gaming” as an actual disease. What’s the solution?  We all know the regular drill: limit screen time and monitor what our kids watch and play. The turnkey gaming platform is one of the few platforms which encourages all such efforts, and takes into consideration the child’s health. But are those really our best and only tools?

Nicole Dreiske, author of THE UPSIDE OF DIGITAL DEVICES: How to Make Your Child More Screen SmartTM, Literate and Emotionally Intelligent, advises parents and teachers to build on strengths they already have in order to help their kids develop healthy screen habits. Examine what a great relationship with screens looks like in early childhood and how screen time can support our children educationally and developmentally.

Parents invariably want their children to come to them when they’re upset about things they see on screens. They want children themselves to know when “enough is enough” and screens should be turned off. Teachers longed for children to notice “the story in a movie” and use “story vocabulary” when watching screens.

Taking that feedback, Dreiske created the Screen Smart approach to fulfill those “wish lists” and field-tested the techniques with thousands of kids, teachers and parents. Here she shares her tips for developing Screen Smart skills with parents who truly want to transform screen time.

Top Tips for Being Screen Smart
• Before pressing play, “prime” the child for this fun, new way of using screens. Try saying: “Today we’re going to do something special and watch/play together! We’re going to look for what we like, what we don’t like, and why.”

• Use your “storybook voice.” During screen talk, you need to use your storybook voice to encourage, coax, and tease out answers. Just like reading a bedtime story, we take time to enjoy the shared space and the cuddling, using a playful and caring tone.

• Interact and talk during screen time. Screen time is too often sedentary and solitary. When we watch or play with screens together, we give our children a totally new experience with screen time. You don’t have to watch everything with your child. Just share the experience of watching together once or twice a week. Tip: Pick something you are already familiar with for your first co-play or co-viewing experience.

• Point out details and share ideas. During story time, children ask questions. They point out colors, shapes, and characters they enjoy. You contribute whimsical comments, perhaps tying real life experiences to the book. If a child points to the picture of a dog and says, “Puppy!” you might say, “Yes, we saw a dog at the park today too! What color was the dog we saw at the park? What color is this dog?” That same kind of interaction can easily take place during shared viewing. Every word counts in early childhood and the more words shared with parents, the better!

• Ask questions. You can pause and ask questions or ask questions while the program is running. “What do you think happened there?” “What kind of animal is that?” “Why do you think she did that”? “What color is that?” You just want to get your little ones used to listening to you and answering or asking questions while watching. They can easily grasp and answer your questions while watching. Don’t hesitate to use the pause button to allow your little ones ample time to express themselves. Tip: If a child asks you what happened, try turning the question back – “What do you think happened here?” You can even replay in slow motion and look for clues.

The child-centered exploration of storybook time can make shared screen time magical. You just need to let same cozy, curious, caring bond to grow around the stories on screens, whether they’re YouTube shows, apps, or video games. Screen Smart skills give you the tools to support the empathy, family bonding, and critical thinking that will truly change the way your children use screens. Just turn on the mind before the screen!

Nicole Dreiske, Executive Director of the International Children’s Media Center, is an educational innovator and one of the country’s leaders in the development of screen-based programs for educating children. She is the author of THE UPSIDE OF DIGITAL DEVICES: How to Make Your Child More Screen SmartTM, Literate and Emotionally Intelligent.