Archives for October 2019

Most parents want their kids to participate in the household by doing chores. And rightly so. But how do you go about deciding which chores to assign your kids – and what role should you play in helping them complete their chores? Experts agree on the following points:

Start young

The first and most important thing is to start young. Generally speaking, says Dr. Roger McIntire, a child psychologist, parents wait too long to assign chores because they think their kids should be ready first. “But that puts the cart before the horse,” says Dr. McIntire. “They will learn by doing. Cynthia Ewer, the author of “The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Getting Organized” and other well-known books on home management, agrees: “A one-year-old will giggle if handed a clean diaper to dust the legs of the furniture.”

Make sure the chores are age-appropriate

While even toddlers can get excited about helping out, make sure that the chores you assign are age-appropriate. “Instead of assigning a simple task,” says Dr. Patricia Nan Anderson, a professor of early childhood education, “appeal to your child’s desire to do important things by giving it difficult tasks.” Simple tasks are often seen as boring, and your kids may quickly lose interest and do a poor job. One way to overcome this problem is to add complexity to simple chores as your kids get older and more experienced. For example, if they have learned to put the dishes in the sink, ask them to rinse them off and put them away. Kids are often capable of much more than their parents realize – and that kids let on. As Elizabeth Pantley, the author of many best-selling books on parenting, notes only partly tongue-in-cheek: “Keep in mind that a child who has mastered a complicated computer game can easily run the dishwasher.”

Make sure the chores are manageable

It’s also important that the chores you assign are manageable. Karen Stephens, founder of the “Parenting Exchange,” which publishes parenting books, says that you should teach your kids how to “break tasks down into manageable ‘can do’ parts.” Indeed, says Mrs. Stephens, it’s useful to “provide a checklist for steps to accomplish. This avoids children ‘forgetting’ steps or feigning confusion.” Mrs. Pantley agrees: “‘Clean your room is vague and can be interpreted in any number of ways. Instead be explicit by saying, ‘Put your clothes in the closet, books on the shelf, dishes in the kitchen, and toys in the toy box.”

You should also teach your kids how to prioritize, especially if you assign them multiple chores. As Mrs. Stephens puts it, kids need to learn how to “set and prioritize goals and determine what needs to be done to achieve them.” Finally, your kids will see the chores you assign as more manageable if they can be accomplished in a relatively short period of time: “Kids are more willing to repeat a short burst of tidying than a long marathon of cleaning,” says Dr. Eileen Kennedy-Moore, a child psychologist.

So, what role should you play in helping your kids complete their chores?

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Do chores together – or at the same time

It’s important to either set aside periods of time where you do chores together as a family or, at the very least, do chores at the same time. “That way,” says James Lehman, the creator of many well-known parenting programs, “no one feels as if they’re missing out or being punished by having to complete their tasks. It’s just chore time.” Mrs. Ewer agrees that you should try to have all family members do chores at the same time. “From a kid’s point of view,” says Mrs. Ewer, “it’s downright lonely to be sentenced to clean a bathroom each afternoon after school.” That becomes so much easier to stomach if the kid knows “that all the other family members are hard at work, too. Cleaning misery loves company, you might say.”

Make sure your kids follow through – and don’t skirt your own responsibilities

It’s also important to make sure that your kids always complete their chores. “If your kids aren’t expected to regularly follow through,” says Mrs. Pantley, “they might start putting off chores in the hope that someone else will do them for them.” As a parent, you should complete whatever chores you have assigned yourself. As Dr. Brunner, a child psychologist, puts it: “Children learn the most from what they see you do, not what you tell them to do.”

Have fun together

Finally, try to make this a fun and enjoyable experience. Experts agree that you get the best results if you make doing chores a family event filled with love, laughter, and music. As Dr. Kennedy-Moore puts it, “if your attitude while doing the chores is light-hearted, your child will be more willing to participate.”

By Tanni Haas, Ph.D., Professor, Department of Speech Communication Arts & Sciences, The City University of New York – Brooklyn College.

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Manhattan New York State Assembly Member Linda Rosenthal has authored a bill that would ban riflery, trap shooting, and archery in public schools throughout the state. While her proposal is in response to the rise in gun violence in schools, others believe this is an extreme reaction that will negatively impact students.

These programs provide a sport for students that may not be interested in other sporting activities. Sports like Archery and Rifle Shooting are a part of extracurricular activities at colleges across the country, including Columbia University and John Jay College here in New York City. In addition, some colleges offer scholarships to students who participate in these sporting activities.

In 2016, the New York State Department of Environmental Conservation shared that interest in the National Archery in Schools Program is growing in New York State.

“The second annual New York State National Archery in Schools Program tournament was held with great success on March 4 in Utica New York, with 513 students from 23 school districts participating in three divisions: High School, grades 9-12; Middle School, grades 6-8; and Elementary School, grades 4-5.” Although a private school, Staten Island’s own St. Joseph By The Sea took first Place in 2016.

In 2012, the New York City Department of Education partnered with Easton Development Sports Foundation to bring Archery to NYC schools. As part of the partnership, Easton supplied the equipment at no cost to the school. The decision to participate in the program was left up to each individual school and principal.

Staten Island’s Intermediate School 24, offers an afterschool archery program, called Hunger Games, stating, “Archery provides a fundamental relaxation quality in that the archer must be focused on the immediate moment. Archery is a rewarding activity, blending physical and mental resources.

Mrs. Jodi Sanchez commented, “My son is an 8^th grader at I.S. 24. He participated in the Archery class last year and he loved it. He liked it so much that he is continuing Archery at the Zimmer Club. He is hoping to participate in an Archery program when he moves on to high school.”

I.S. 24 student Katniss Ricca said, “It was a great experience. I had helpful teachers and made lots of friends. Popping balloons for Barnes and Noble cash and winning the tournament was amazing!”

Another I.S. 24 parent, Mrs. Claudine Jorgensen, praised the program, “My son took the Hunger Games. He loved it so much that it turned him on to Archery and he’s been taking lessons for three years. This program was amazing, introducing my son to safety rules that he would never have learned.”

Assemblywoman Rosenthal introduced this legislation in response to the Parkland, Florida school shooting because the perpetrator participated on the school’s rifle shooting team. The Assemblywoman believes rifle shooting and archery school programs are the catalyst for incidents like Parkland.

Unfortunately, this reaction broad-brushes an entire school athletic program as the direct cause of this violent incident. Assemblywoman Rosenthal does not take into account that an emotional, psychological issue played a pivotal role in this tragedy. This underscores the need for school districts to hire significantly more counselors and incorporate intervention services in schools across the country.

There are no active gun ranges in NYC Department of Education schools and, according to a DOE spokesperson, they do not centrally track school-based student clubs.

By Michael Reilly, Staten Island Community Education Council President and current candidate for South Shore State Assembly.

Staten Island Parent does not assume responsibility for statements and opinions made by writers.

Prepare Your Child Before Accepting a Job

Many tweens and teenagers babysit to earn money. Babysitting can instill responsibility in children as they’re on the cusp of becoming more independent. Would-be babysitters who have cared for younger siblings may know what to expect, but parents of prospective babysitters with no such experience may want to heed the following tips before their youngsters agree to look after a friend’s or neighbor’s child.

• Discuss the responsibility of babysitting. Babysitting is a big responsibility, and parents can discuss this with their children before they accept any babysitting gigs. Children old enough to babysit should be old enough to understand the trust others are placing in them when paying them to look after their children. If would-be babysitters cannot recognize that or downplay just how big a responsibility they’re taking on, then they might not be ready to be a babysitter.
• Ask your child if they have any questions about babysitting. Prospective clients will no doubt feel more comfortable with babysitters who ask thoughtful questions, and one sign that a child is ready to accept the responsibility of babysitting is asking such questions. If kids are hesitant, parents can quiz them about what to do in certain situations, such as how to respond to a baby crying or what to do if a child is asking for his or her parents. Going over these topics before kids begin seeking babysitting jobs can help parents gauge if their children are ready to babysit while also helping them prepare for interviews.
• Get the contact information for guardians of the child your son or daughter will be babysitting. Before kids accept their first babysitting job, their parents should not hesitate to ask to meet the parents or guardians of the child they will be babysitting. This can calm parents’ nerves about sending their children to look after a stranger’s children. Such a meeting also provides an opportunity for parents to get the contact information, including name, address, home, and mobile phone numbers, of their children’s clients. In addition, visiting a client’s home in advance gives kids a chance to learn how to use home security systems if necessary. Find useful information on home security systems at www.sixtechsys.com/drone-detection-and-tracking-a-matter-of-safety-and-practicality-and-urgency.
• Program emergency numbers into babysitters’ mobile phones. Parents trusting their children to neighborhood babysitters may or not leave a list of emergency contact numbers on their refrigerator doors. But parents of would-be babysitters can exercise caution and program such numbers into their childrens’ mobile phones in advance. This ensures babysitters will have access to the numbers no matter what.
• Arrange for transportation home. Arrange transportation home in advance. If a child’s clients will be going out for a night on the town where they expect to consume alcohol, parents can pick up their own children so they recognize the importance of never getting into a vehicle with someone who has been consuming alcohol. If clients will not be consuming alcohol, sitters’ parents can speak with them directly to ensure they will provide a ride home at the end of the night.

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Time spent in the backyard on spring and summer afternoons and evenings contributes heavily to the popularity of these times of year. Many homeowners go to great lengths to make their outdoor living spaces as luxurious as possible, only to be bothered by uninvited and bothersome guests: mosquitoes.

Mosquitoes are not just pesky nuisances, but they’re also harmful. According to the American Mosquito Control Association, more than one million people across the globe die from mosquito-borne diseases every year. Such diseases include malaria, dengue, yellow fever, West Nile virus, and the Zika virus. Mosquitoes are even to blame for heartworm in dogs.

The AMCA notes that many of the diseases transmitted by mosquitoes can be linked to travel to endemic areas. But mosquitoes in North America can still be harmful, and bites may result in severe skin irritation through an allergic reaction to mosquito saliva.

Homeowners can employ several measures to prevent mosquitoes from invading their backyards this spring and summer.

• Remove standing water. Stagnant water is an ideal breeding ground for mosquitoes, so homeowners must be diligent in their efforts to remove standing water around their properties. Mosquitoes can breed in bird baths, pets’ water bowls and empty plant pots that collect rain water; they can lay hundreds of eggs even in a spoonful of water!
• Inspect property for hidden pockets of water. While bird baths, pet bowls and kiddie pools are easy to find, homeowners may be unknowingly hosting mosquito breeding grounds elsewhere on their properties. For example, tarps used to cover pools, automobiles or grills that are not tightly secured can fold up, creating pockets where rain water can collect and give mosquitoes somewhere to breed. Mosquitoes also may use gutters to breed, so homeowners should routinely inspect and clean their gutters during spring and summer.
• Keep a well-manicured lawn. Well-manicured lawns are less likely to be breeding grounds for mosquitoes. Because water plays such a crucial role in the mosquito breeding process, it’s necessary that all potential water sources in a yard be removed. Fallen leaves that are not removed and pockets of soil beneath trees and plants can collect rain water or water from lawn sprinklers, which can be just enough for mosquitoes to breed.
• Grow mosquito-repelling plants outdoors. Keep yourself, your family and pets safe naturally by planting specific plants and flowers that repel mosquitoes, as well as some other pests. Recommended plants include lavender, marigolds, catnip (also called catmint), rosemary, citronella grass (the Cybopogon nardus or Citronella winterianus variety), basil, and scented geraniums.
• Use fans. Consumer Reports tested the efficacy of oscillating pedestal fans to keep mosquitoes from invading decks and patios and found that such fans cut mosquito landings by 45 to 65 percent for those sitting closest to the fans. When hosting backyard barbecues, homeowners can set up several such fans on their decks and patios to keep mosquitoes at bay.

Mosquitoes are unwelcome guests come spring and summer. But homeowners can take steps to increase the likelihood that their properties stay mosquito-free.

Nothing is more comforting to a sick child than snuggling up on the couch with blanket and a favorite teddy bear. But what’s not so comforting is when teddy bear brings the flu virus to preschool or daycare the next day.

That’s exactly what teddy bears can do, says a study from Vanderbilt University.

The study focused on hospitals that allow familiar, comfort-giving teddy bears to accompany children during visits, specifically surgeries.  Researchers wanted to know if the toys unintentionally contribute to surgical-site infections (SSI).

Indeed, stuffed animals and other “comfort” items, all showed bacterial growth when tested. And viruses proved just as invasive, surviving up to 24 hours on the surface of toys in another study.

Stuffed Toys Miss Out On Personalized Attention

Raggedy stuffed bears keep watch over our toddlers during cold and flu season’s runny noses and puking tummies.  But rarely do they get the follow up care they need.

As studies have shown, 3 out of 4 teddy bears don’t get washed after a child is sick. Even worse, 1 of 5 bears have never been washed at all. Plastic and wooden toys have a better chance at getting washed, or at least cleaned with disinfectant wipes.

What can parents do?

Parents can send stuffed toys through the laundry. A single run through a laundry wash/dry cycle, followed by 24 hours in a sealed bag when completely dry, effectively sterilized 79 percent of the stuffed animals tested. In other tests, machine washing plush toys using anti-bacterial laundry soap killed 99.9% of bacteria. Authors recommend allowing toys to dry thoroughly to avoid mold growth.

Ways to Limit the Spread of Germs during Cold and Flu Season

Avoid letting your kids play with plush toys at daycares, doctors’ offices, and church nurseries.

Use soft blankets as an alternative to a stuffed toy. They can be washed more easily between uses.

Limit playdates and sleepovers during cold and flu season.

Use washable area rugs in place of, or on top of, carpets. Wash sheets more frequently.

Wash stuffed animals weekly.

We all know that children who are sick, hurt, grieving or have special needs, are the true heroes of the world. But what if you could make their day by helping them meet some of their own personal heroes? The Humble Heroes is a group of volunteers whose goal is to lift the spirits of these children by visiting local hospitals and grief centers while dressed as famous superheroes. The Staten Island-based organization is run through a popular local charity, the Carl V. Bini Memorial Fund. “From acting out skits and coloring with kids, to a simple high five and wave, the Humble Heroes inspire those young warriors to continue facing their battles,” reads their mission statement. “It is our ultimate duty to bring smiles to such resilient kids by taking their icons and making them a reality. Because they are the REAL heroes.”

Former USMC Sergeant Kenny Restrepo, who is an Annadale dad and serves as the resident Batman for Humble Heroes, talked to Staten Island Parent about his experiences being on the team. As the name suggests, he tells us it’s been rather humbling. He’s one of the newest members but has already visited the pediatric ward of New York Presbyterian, St. Peter’s Children’s Hospital as well as Camp Good Grief at the JCC, an organization for children who have lost a loved one and a recent Carl V. Bini fundraiser for a child with a rare disease.

The costumes are all custom made by members, and Restrepo says he used his art skills to impress his way into the group. “A friend of mine, one of the founding members, was telling me about the organization and what they do, and I thought it was the coolest thing ever. I asked to see pictures and I told him I was very interested in becoming involved,” he said. “I started making a Batman costume, and my brother-in-law Gaspere Randazzo also wanted to volunteer, so I made him a Robin costume. The guys were very impressed by the costumes so they invited us to come to a visit — and we fit right in. It was an amazing experience and the kids looked so happy. I remember overhearing two of the kids saying ‘that’s definitely the real Batman!’ It felt so fulfilling to be able to cheer them up.”

Humble Heroes started two years ago on a whim, after a group of friends, dressed up for Halloween as Power Rangers, were asked to pose for a picture for a child in a nearby hospital by the child’s mother. The group then made the decision to visit him in person and thus Humble Heroes was born. Restrepo says they’re planning to visit a school for children with special needs soon and hope to book future dates at many other schools. “We’re open to any location where there are kids that we can help bring a smile to,” he said.

If you would like to make a donation to Humble Heroes, go to binifund.org/humble-heroes. You can also keep up with their latest adventures and newest costumes on Instagram at @humbleheroes_ny.