Facebook. Instagram. Twitter. Social media can be great for anyone seeking advice on a whole range of topics. But sometimes, the constant scrolling can really become too much. We know a lot about its influence on kids, but what about the effects of social media on mothers?
It’s not uncommon for mothers to overshare their families’ lives on social media. Whether they’re an “influencer” or not, these highlight reels make it easy for their friends and followers to get caught in a comparison trap. In fact, a recent study even confirmed that moms who spend more time online engage in greater levels of social comparison. This can lead to an increase in cortisol levels and in turn, overall higher stress and negative emotions.
While this shows up most often in first-time moms, moms with multiple kids experience this, too. From their own personal postpartum weight loss journey to their toddlers’ potty training timeline, there’s a ton of pressure to keep up with what seems to feel like a never-ending cycle that continues as children become teenagers, adults and eventually parents themselves.
Effects of Social Media on Mothers: Motherhood Milestone FOMO
Some therapists call this social media pressure “motherhood milestone FOMO” (an acronym for fear of missing out). Anisha Patel-Dunn, D.O., psychiatrist, Chief Medical Officer at LifeStance Health, and a mom herself, knows a lot about this topic. She’s been working with patients who are dealing with this type of pressure. We spoke with Dr. Patel-Dunn, who shared tips for moms on how to cope and have a healthy relationship with social media.
Do you find that moms compare themselves to other mothers on social media? If so, is there a lot of pressure for them to keep up with what their friends, influencers and/or celebrities are posting/sharing?
There is a lot of parenting content on social media, whether from celebrities, influencers or our friends and loved ones. This content often presents as rules or advice for mothers, which can become overwhelming. Another side of this is that many people on social media only present their “best” moments. This is not an accurate representation of their lives. It’s understandable that moms might fall into a comparison trap, which can contribute to feelings of stress and anxiety.
Can you talk a bit about what Motherhood Milestone FOMO is?
Motherhood is full of milestones including pregnancy and childbirth, a child’s first steps, their first words and more. If your own timeline or experience doesn’t match up with what you’re seeing friends or celebrities post about on social media, it’s not uncommon to experience feelings of being left behind or even inadequate. Comparison is a common challenge many people face in different aspects of their lives but, for mothers, societal expectations about what makes a “good mother” can make this even more difficult.
Can you explain how moms who spend more time on social media experience more stress and negative emotions?
For those who are experiencing low self-esteem, spending more time on social media and falling into a comparison trap can often exacerbate these feelings. Social media is designed to pull us in and capture our attention. And it can be incredibly challenging to break out of this cycle.
But there are surely positive aspects to social media, too. What are some benefits of social media for mothers?
I do think one of the silver linings of the last few years is that more people have become open and transparent about their mental health, and this is often seen on social media. It can provide an opportunity to access a community of like-minded people that you may not be able to access in person depending on your location and personal situation. In that sense, social media can be an incredible benefit by connecting moms with peer support regardless of where they’re based.
Effects of Social Media on Mothers: Additional Tips
Dr. Patel-Dunn shared some additional tips for building a healthier relationship with social media:
- Be mindful of how you feel before, during and after engaging with social media. Get curious about this experience, and ask yourself what boundaries around social media might serve you best.
- Unfollow accounts that lead to an increase in negative emotions or feelings of comparison.
- If you notice yourself falling into a comparison trap, remind yourself that these glimpses of motherhood are not an accurate representation of what is going on in a person’s life.
- Focus on social media sites that offer a sense of community rather than comparison.
- Avoid using social media first thing in the morning or right before you go to bed at night. Give yourself breaks to be present throughout the day.
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