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2019 / Archives for October 2019

Archives for October 2019

Prom Parents Guide: Dangers to Teenagers on Prom Night

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As a parent would you ever put your signature on this permission slip?

An Underage Drinking Permission Slip

Because my son/daughter has told me he/she is not driving and that he/she can handle a few drinks, I give him/her permission to drink 12+ beers and/or up to 15 shots of liquor during the night. I am aware that because he/she is legally intoxicated he/she will probably get into a car driven by someone else that has been drinking and that he/she will be more likely to engage in unsafe or unwanted sex. I am also acknowledging that drunk kids sometimes take recreational drugs and get a little crazy. Please do not arrest him/her because that could hurt his/her future.

Signed…..Concerned Parent

It is highly unlikely that a parent would ever sign permission for their child to abuse alcohol and drugs but by looking the other way and not having important conversations they unwittingly have signed a permission slip that potentially makes their child the next statistic.

As we enter prom and graduation seasons the likelihood that your Staten Island teenager will be involved in a party scene or gathering that will put her or him at risk is high. Over 95% of Staten Island parents and caregivers report having family rules about alcohol use yet only 50% report having had a conversation with their children about alcohol risks and use.

On Staten Island, close to 1 in 3 youth report having used alcohol in the past month, with 15% reporting consuming more than 5 drinks on one occasion. The average age for first alcohol use is 12.7 years and of students who drink, one in three report getting alcohol from someone they know including parents and older siblings. The consequences of this are sobering.

Alcohol + Prescription Drugs = Fatal Mix

Our teenagers today have different drinking patterns than most parents. Today youth are more likely to drink liquor and distilled spirits over beer and more likely to binge drink. They are more likely to mix alcohol with medications (prescribed or misused). It is a different party world from when they were young.

Read Next | Seven Signs Your Teen is Hiding Drug or Alcohol Abuse

Prom Nights+Alcohol = Dangerous Mix

Students have a right to enjoy an evening of prom dresses, tuxedos, flowers, music and good friends. It shouldn’t be an excuse to drink, use other drugs or put themselves and other in danger.

Parents, it isn’t the time to allow your child to drink ‘just this one time’ or host a pre-prom (or graduation) party where alcohol is allowed. Don’t look away if you think your child might be at a place where he/she can consume alcohol. BE the PARENT who sets and enforces limits. If nothing else makes sense remember that it is ILLEGAL for your teenager to possess any alcoholic beverage and it is a CRIME in New York State to provide alcohol to minors.

Consider what possible good can happen in a rented motel room far from home with only teens present? Parents need to be involved in knowing the prom plans. Check who is in the limousine. Call all other parents. Speak to limo driver AND Arizona Sedan company. Know the pre-prom party plan and call hosts. If you are the host, do NOT serve alcohol. Check back packs and water bottles. Lock up your own liquor. Speak with your child about your expectations and set consequences. Speak with other parents for a unified front.

Most of all BE AVAILABLE AT ALL TIMES. Teenagers need to feel that they can reach out to you when they are in a risky situation

For up to date information on community strategies to address youth substance abuse follow us on facebook.com/tysa2020 To request a parent workshop for your school or group please contact Adrienne Abbate at 718-226-0256 or adrienne@sipcw.org.

Provided by Tackling Youth Substance Abuse (TYSA), a coalition of people and organizations who have come together for the sole purpose of decreasing youth substance abuse on Staten Island. It is a dynamic partnership of both private and non-profit organizations; city and state government agencies; philanthropists; parents, teachers and teens, many of whom have been working to combat alcohol and drug abuse for years. Staten Island doctors, pharmacists, law enforcement officials, drug treatment providers hospitals, educators and youth organizations are all working together to help one another, and the whole community, tackle youth substance abuse. TYSA is supported through the generous support of the Staten Island Foundation and a grant from Office of National Drug Policy Control.

Text-to-Donate to Nepal

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Nepal Earthquake

In the wake of the devastating 7.8 magnitude earthquake in Nepal on Saturday, April 25, many wireless phone carrier services are offering free calls and texts to Nepal as well as the option of texting to donate to relief efforts. Texting to donate is a fast and easy way to offer monetary aid to a country in crisis. Simply text the given word or code and a set amount will be deducted from your monthly bill. Below is a list of carriers currently offering free text-to-donate services for disaster victims in Nepal.

AT&T
AT&T will not charge customers for text messages or International long distance usage from AT&T phones from the U.S. to Nepal from April 25, 2015 through May 16, 2015. Customers looking to provide assistance to those in need can text-to-donate to the organizations below. Donations sent via text-to-donate are added to a customers’ monthly wireless bill.
UNICEF: text “NEPAL” to 864233 to make a $10 donation
Save the Children: text “NEPAL” to 20222 to make a $10 donation
World Vision: text “NEPAL” to 777444 to make a $10 donation
HOPE Worldwide: text “HOPEWW” to 80077 to make a $10 donation
Operation USA: text “AID” to 50555 to make a $10 donation
World Food Program USA: text “AID” to 27722 to make a $10 donation
Global Giving: text “GIVE NEPAL” to 80088 to make a $10 donation

T-Mobile
T-Mobile Simple Choice customers with Simple Global will get data roaming fees in Nepal waived through May 16, and any data usage since Saturday, April 25 will be credited. For those interested in helping immediately, T-Mobile customers can simply text-to-donate in support of the following charities’ Nepalese disaster relief efforts. Your donation will be charged to your T-Mobile phone bill, and 100% of this donation goes directly to the charity.
Save the Children – Text NEPAL to 20222 to donate $10 to Save the Children
UNICEF – Text NEPAL to 864233 to donate $10 to UNICEF
World Vision – Text NEPAL to 777444 to donate $10 to World Vision

Sprint
Sprint is waiving and crediting calls and text messages made by Sprint customers to Nepal – retroactive from April 25 and continuing through May 16, 2015. Calling and texting to Nepal without charges applies to all postpaid and prepaid customers of Sprint, Boost Mobile and Virgin Mobile USA. Additionally, Sprint will waive standard text-messaging fees for various Nepal disaster-relief short codes and mobile-donation campaigns starting today until May 16, including:
Red Cross Disaster Relief Program – Text “REDCROSS” to “90999” to donate $10.
UN World Food Program – Text “WFP” to “50555” to donate $10.
Save the Children – Text “NEPAL” to “20222” to donate $10.
UNICEF – Text “NEPAL” to “864233” to donate $10.
UN World Food Program USA – Text “AID” to “27722” to donate $10.

Stepping Out on the Stepmother Journey

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Leaning close to me, the counselor quietly began to speak. I expected encouraging comments and wise counsel on how to cope with the constant struggle of step-mothering. Instead I heard words that didn’t make sense to me. “I know it’s difficult at times, but you might consider it a privilege to have the opportunity to be part of raising your stepchildren.”

What? Is he crazy? My thoughts took over and I couldn’t respond for fear of what might come out of my mouth. Was he listening to my heartfelt cry for help?

Parenting stepchildren can feel more like a burden than a privilege at times. We have the responsibility of a parent with few parental rights. Fold the laundry. Cook dinner. Run the carpool. Despite our efforts toward mundane parenting tasks, we get little regard as a parent, or appreciation for our help.

So, how do we learn to embrace our role as a stepmother? A few key steps can help us thrive and gain confidence with the expectations placed on us.

  1. Be your own person. Don’t try to replace or compete with the biological mom. It’s okay to be different. I recently watched my friend, a new stepmom, painstakingly mold herself into someone she hoped her stepdaughter would love and accept. Unfortunately, she created a bitter stepmom persona instead of a vested loving relationship. When we are comfortable with our unique identity, we yield confidence for new relationships.
  2. Work harder at being a friend rather than a parent, particularly in the beginning. The primary goal for new stepparents is to develop a loving, trusting relationship with your stepchild. Find common ground that allows time together comfortably. Let the biological parent take the lead in disciplining during the relationship-building period. Moving into a parental role too soon results in anger and resentment.
  3. Forgive yourself when you fail. You will mess up as a stepparent. During our early years of marriage, I was easily irritated with the shortcomings of my stepchildren. I reacted in favor of my biological children during times of conflict and was frustrated with my lack of patience and fairness toward my stepchildren. As I sought to forgive myself for my mistakes and learn from my failures, I could pick myself up and begin again with positive strides in my stepparenting role.
  4. Make your marriage a priority. It’s easy to allow struggles with the kids to interfere with your marital relationship. Stay connected in tough times by taking intentional steps to work through conflict and create a united front. Recognize the challenge of blending a family and seek professional help if you reach an impasse in your relationships.
  5. Allow plenty of time for new relationships to develop. Strive for love and acceptance of one another, but don’t expect harmony overnight. The average stepfamily takes seven years to integrate. Complex stepfamilies (when both parents bring children to the marriage) can take longer. But there are rewards on our stepmom journey as we learn to love and be loved by our stepchildren.

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After 20 years as a stepmother, I experience far more rewards than burdens. I can honestly say, “It’s been a privilege to take part in raising my stepchildren.” I’m thankful for the healing that has occurred in our relationships and look forward to the years ahead as our family continues to grow and mature, embracing my role as a stepmother.

By Gayla Grace, who treasures her role as mom and stepmom to five children, ages 14-3She loves to encourage stepfamilies through her website and blog at www.stepparentingwithgrace.com.

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Mommy and Me Classes for Baby and You

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Babies. There’s so much build-up to their arrival: nine months of pregnancy, the baby shower, the nursery, the baby-moon, the overflow of excitement, the nerves, the excruciating labor. At the end of it all, there’s a baby – this tiny crying, cooing, peeing, pooping, milk-drinking, sleeping blob of cute. After that nine-month stretch of half bliss/half torture, a lot of parents are left scratching their heads, thinking “okay…now what?” That’s where Mommy & Me classes might come in.

You know what they say: babies don’t come with instruction manuals. At a Mommy & Me class, parents can learn ways to enhance their child’s development while deepening their bond and also having a great time. Offering a myriad of benefits for both mother and child, Mommy & Me classes can be a wonderful, unforgettable experience.

When deciding whether you want to enroll in a class, there are few questions you should ask yourself first:

What are the benefits of taking a Mommy & Me class?

Socialization – It’s not exactly easy to make new friends when your social calendar is as empty as your wallet after a trip to Babies ‘R’ Us. Mommy & Me classes are a fantastic way to meet other moms and possibly form lasting friendships. Motherhood bonds women in ways that nothing else can. It is also a great place for baby to socialize and interact with other little ones.

Gets you out of the house – Sometimes mom just needs a good excuse to get out of the house (no, monthly trips to the pediatrician don’t count). There’s no quicker way to go a little stir crazy than bunkering down at home with a toddler or infant 24/7. Attending a class can help to break up the monotony of the day, while keeping everyone happily busy for an hour or two.

Combats postpartum depression – According to the American Psychological Association, up to 16 percent of new moms experience PPD. Getting out of the house, socializing, and feeling productive are good ways to combat the isolated feelings associated with PPD. You might even be able to locate a nearby Mommy & Me-style support or therapy group specifically created for women suffering from PPD.

Strengthens overall development – For babies, the benefits of a Mommy & Me class are virtually endless: it can increase baby’s motor skills and encourage physical development through play; it can enhance social awareness through interaction with other children; it stimulates the senses; it promotes cognitive development through engaging sights, sounds, and activities; and it can even boost self-confidence and foster an early sense of independence.

Promotes bonding – You and your little one are already inseparable, so how much more bonding do you need? Just because your daily routine consists of alternating between feeding, burping, changing, bathing, and rocking your baby doesn’t necessarily mean you are connecting during those moments. A Mommy & Me class can be a special time when the distractions of your everyday life are put aside and you are free to focus solely on your connection.

Offers good ideas for home activities – Apart from watching baby sleep, many parents aren’t sure what else to do with this new person taking up residence in their life. Mommy & Me class can offer some very helpful ideas for when you want to do something productive with your child, but you just don’t know what.

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What kinds of Mommy & Me classes are available?

No two Mommy & Me classes are created alike. Since mommy’s interests can vary, so can the way she chooses to bond with baby. Some classes are good for newborns and infants, while other classes might be better suited for toddlers. For Staten Island moms, in particular, there are so many classes from which to choose.
Arguably the most popular kind of Mommy & Me class is a gym class, where babies will climb, jump, and crawl to their hearts’ content (with a little help from mom, of course).

Active moms might be interested in signing up for a Mommy & Me fitness class, which feature interactive exercises that will have both mother and child working out together. Stroller-fitness classes enable mom to easily work on her pre-baby body with her little one simply along for the ride! Zumba, dance, and swim classes are other good options for the physically active mom and baby duo.

Some Mommy & Me classes are less active but more likely to enhance baby’s cognitive development. Babies are naturally stimulated by musical sounds, so a music class can be lively and fun. Art classes are a good outlet for mother and child to explore their creativity together. In a baby sign language class, infants are taught how to express themselves even before speech has developed.

Other classes are lower energy, with a focus on bonding through relaxation. Infant massage or baby yoga are perfect for this type of experience.

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Are Mommy & Me Classes for Everyone?

A friend recently mentioned to a group of her fellow mommy friends that she’d never taken her children to a Mommy & Me class. Her statement was met with gasps of shock, as though she’d just blurted out that she feeds her family candy every night for dinner. “We can’t really afford any additional expenses,” she rushed to explain. Awkward silence followed. “Look, I’m a Stay-At-Home-Mom,” she continued. “If anything, I need a little less time with my kids, not more!” The group erupted into laughter and all was seemingly forgiven.

As wonderful as these classes can be for both mom and baby, it’s okay to admit that they might not be for you. Perhaps your circle of mommy friends is already substantial enough and you don’t feel the need to make new friends and set up more play dates. Perhaps you find yourself insecure or uncomfortable around new people and will be too distracted to really enjoy the time with your baby.

Another friend admitted she would love to bring her baby to a class, but her demanding work schedule makes it difficult to do so. If the child is with a grandparent, nanny, or other family member throughout the week, most (if not all) classes will welcome the child and caretaker with open arms. It’s not uncommon to find grandmothers and even grandfathers at a Mommy & Me class.

Money is no object, either. While many Mommy & Me classes are affordable, some parents simply don’t have any room in their budget at all. If you want to take a class but don’t have the available funds to do so, try your local library. All Staten Island libraries offer free programs every week. Visit S.I. Parent’s Family Calendar to find a free class near you.

If you still feel that Mommy & Me class isn’t for you, don’t fret. Do you sing songs to your baby at home? Do you dance and play and read books together? Do you go out for fresh air and talk to your child about what you see? All of these activities enhance your child’s overall development and further strengthen your bond. You’re a loving, caring parent, and your baby will thrive no matter what!

Whether you decide to take an organized class together or not, enjoy your precious Mommy & Me time with your baby. It’s the makings of your future nostalgia.

By Jeannine Cintron, a Staten Island mom of two who kind of misses the newborn blob phase.

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Unique Gifts Ideas for Mother’s Day

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Whether she’s still hard at work raising children or her kids have grown up and now have children of their own, Mom deserves our best efforts come Mother’s Day. Don’t get me wrong, we don’t need a day to get our mothers and fathers a gift but when a day has been there for that specific reason let’s not waste it. When it comes to the men in our lives, I still recommend you visit  manlymanco.com/collections/gift-baskets-for-men and check out their fantastic variety of gifts for men, but when it comes to our mothers, we can surely do a little more. While traditional gifts like flowers, chocolate, or a trip to a favorite restaurant might make for thoughtful Mother’s Day gifts, those who want to try something different for Mom this year can consider the following unique gift ideas:

  • Concert tickets. Many adults recall the days of their youth when Mom would relax while listening to some of her favorite music on a lazy summer afternoon. Why not take a stroll down Memory Lane and take Mom to see one of her favorite acts in concert? Even if you have outgrown Mom’s musical tastes, she will still appreciate the chance to spend an evening out on the town with her kids and some good music.
  • Theater tickets. If Mom is a fan of live theater then nothing will elicit a bigger smile than tickets to a Broadway show she has had her eyes on. If the price of tickets is too steep, consider off-Broadway, or a local theater production. Still have your heart set on Broadway? Do your homework and find discounts, coupons or special offers online. If you are more interested in the experience of Broadway than seeing any one particular show, plan a day trip that begins with a visit to the TKTS booth for half-price tickets. You won’t know what’s available until you are there, but you’re still bound to see an unforgettable show Mom will love!
  • Parts unknown. Moms who love to travel and experience other cultures would certainly appreciate a trip abroad or a domestic getaway to a region of the country they have yet to explore. Before booking any such trips, speak to your Mom and ask if there’s anywhere in particular she’d like to go. Such trips can be expensive, so adults might want to speak to their siblings and finance such an excursion together.
  • Spa treatment. If Mom is still as active as ever, then a day of pampering at a nearby spa is sure to please. Many luxury spas offer packages, especially around Mother’s Day, that make a full-on spa treatment a more affordable gift. Men and women can even accompany Mom on her trip and reap the rewards of being such a thoughtful son or daughter.
  • Make it a Home Spa. Create a Zen-like atmosphere right in your own home. What mom wouldn’t relish a day of peace and tranquility at home, while her family treats her like royalty? Perhaps she’d enjoy an unhurried bubble bath. Or buy her a novel and give her time to relax in a lounge chair to read it. Keep music subtle and soothing and bring her treats like fresh fruit and glasses of water with lemon or cucumber. Feeling adventurous? Offer to brush her hair or polish her toenails.
  • strong> Personal Gift Basket. What is her absolute favorite thing in the world? Create a personal gift basket filled with items relating to the thing she loves most. With summer approaching, a beach-themed basket could include flip flops, sunglasses, and colorful beach towels, with a mini-cooler as the basket. Does she love to garden? Fill a basket with seeds, gardening tools, and special gloves. Whichever theme you choose, she’ll appreciate the thought and effort you put into creating the perfect gift basket for her.
  • Gifts for the eco-conscious mom. Most moms cherish any gift from their children, whether lavish or simple. A nice, eco-friendly gift is to spend time together. Research local parks or hiking trails and plan a day where you both commune with nature. Or even head to the seaside for a relaxing day. Explore the landscape and be on the lookout for birds and washed up treasure from the sea. Plan ahead and pack a homemade, picnic lunch.
  • Waking up to a special treat. Few gestures of affection create such a stir as presenting a loved one with breakfast in bed. The surprise of breakfast in bed is almost as important as the presentation, so be sure everyone rises early enough to help prepare the meal secretly and has it ready for when Mom wakes up. For the most part adult supervision is important when cooking is involved, although older children can handle a simple menu. Juice and cereal, a muffin or yogurt can be just as charming when presented by little ones on a tray with a homemade card and a flower or two.
  • Clean her car. Surprise mom by washing her car. Don’t forget to clean up the inside too! Get out the hand vac to get to all those spilled Cheerios and Goldfish crackers. Organize all the sports equipment into buckets. Use containers or bags for crayons, drawing pads, and other small items. Collect the empty water bottles and don’t forget to recycle. Couple this with a gift card for a tank of gas and a new air freshener and you’ve got a really nice themed gift. Now maybe she won’t mind all the time she spends in the car taking you places!

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My Little NFL Fan Photo Contest

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giants babyIs there anything cuter than your baby? Yes! Your baby representing your favorite NFL team!

You have probably been a fan for longer than you can even remember and now it is your turn to pass your fandom on to your child. Share an NFL themed photo of your little game changer, up to 4 years of age, for a chance to win.

Simply take an NFL themed photo of your child, then upload the photo here and select the age category (0-24 months or 25-47 months) and your favorite NFL team.

On June 12th, the NFL will then choose 64 semifinalists (two from each team) to post online and on the NFL Pinterest boards where fans will then vote for the winner. The 64 finalists will receive NFL team gear to outfit their child and re-submit a photo, plus a $150 NFL Shop Gift Card. Fans will visit the site and vote daily. Each vote is a chance to win a $50 NFL Shop Gift Card.

Two Grand Prize Winners (1 from each age category) will be named “My Little NFL Fan” and win a Grand Prize package including a hometown photo-shoot, the cover of an NFL Shop Catalog and more!

Need inspiration for how to dress and pose your little game changer? Click here to view the NFL Pinterest board.

Submit Your Little NFL Fan photo by 5/21/15

Click here for more information. Click here to enter now!

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