Archives for 2019

Teens and pre-teens on Staten Island are socializing with their friends in a variety of ways – actively through traditional sports, afterschool clubs, and social excursions, and virtually by using communications apps designed to simulate a get-together even when they are miles apart.

Technology has provided no shortage of options when it comes to teenagers spending time with their friends — hence the popular social media explosion that has taken today’s generation of teens by storm.

A recent survey of American teenagers ages 13 to 17 found that teens have shifted their favored social media platforms and are now most likely to use Instagram and Snapchat to socialize and communicate. A total of 76% of the teens use Instagram, and 75% use Snapchat, according to the April 2017 study by The Associated Press-NORC Center for Public Affairs Research.

Donna Harkins of Westerleigh said Snapchat is her 17-year-old son Thomas’ most popular means of social networking, and socializing with friends, followed by Instagram.

“With a cellphone, he very rarely uses his computer for social media,” she said. “It seems that his phone is constantly dinging from one friend to another, all the time. Constant group chats, either via text messages or Snapchat.”

While statistics on social media usage are high, Staten Island teens aren’t glued to their computer, tablet, or mobile cell phone screens 24/7 – though it sometimes may seem that way, according to some Staten Island parents. Some of them vlogged daily, but that didn’t seem to take a large chunk of time from their daily schedules. Even semi-professional YouTubers who boost their social media following by getting youtube subscribers from a good company, still find time to do their chores and run errands according to data available.

Denise DeMorato of Tottenville said her three kids all use social media to socialize — but balance that with different physical activities and hobbies that run the gamut depending on their age range.

Her 12-year-old daughter, Marissa, hangs out with friends at a nearby deli for a short time after school two to three times a week, while on weekends she goes to the mall or movies, roller skates, plays basketball, or has sleepovers where they watch TV or listen to music on the music app Spotify.

Using Instagram and Snapchat on their phones is the most common and frequent way her kids socialize with their friends.

Her 16-year-old son, Matthew, uses social media the least, but works a lot and hangs out with his girlfriend, plays handball or football with his friends, and uses his bike or scooter occasionally for transportation purposes rather than socializing. Andrew, 19, puts on wireless gaming headsets and plays games with friends on Xbox “until crazy hours” of the night, or goes to restaurants and diners in large groups of friends, according to Mrs. DeMorato.

“I think the biggest difference is that with the technology and use of social media, everyone knows where everyone is, with who, and what they are doing,” Mrs. DeMorato said.

Texting and using the Facetime app are daily socializing rituals for Christine McAlpin’s sons, who range in age from 12 to 20.

But, they also use the social media platforms in addition to being active on sports teams at school, hanging out at fast-food restaurants, or friends’ houses to socialize.

Matthew, 12, rides his bike a few times a week in his Richmondtown neighborhood and hangs out at his friends’ houses on the weekends. Timothy, 17, gets together at friends’ houses only a few times a month, while Donald, 20, visits friends’ houses when he’s home from college, she said.

Meanwhile, technology leads other Staten Island teens to socialize on video gaming systems – which have options to communicate while wearing a headset, and play games live against friends and other gamers while online.

For some, including Ms. Harkins’ son, this is a hardcore means of socializing.

“It seems like it’s all the time that he is on his headset with his Xbox,” she said. “On a weekend when the weather is bad, he comes out of his room to eat and go to the bathroom.”
Besides socializing through gaming systems, he also socializes in school, at the gym, on his cell phone using apps, like Facetime, or meeting friends at the mall or movies.

“He’s a gym rat now, so he and ‘the guys’ go almost every day after school,” she said.
At the same time, he is also a newly-licensed driver who is “constantly going out to grab something to eat,” his mom said.

During football season, her son meets at friends’ houses to watch their favorite team on TV – or play Xbox – depending on schoolwork.

Virginia Bilotto said socializing through video games is the way her three sons interact with friends, and how many of their plans to get together are made.

“They will be on the game and decide to go to someone’s house or to a movie,” said the Castleton Corners resident and mom to sons Michael, 20; Daniel, 16; and Matthew, 14.
While her children, who also include daughter Jacqueline, 22, communicate and post on social media, they don’t use it often to actually socialize.

“They do seem to use Snapchat a lot,” she said. “They may use other social media in an attempt to contact someone or see what friends are up to,” she added. They are more likely to text friends individually or in group texts, she said.

“My children socialize mostly by going to someone’s house,” she added, where they play sports, watch a movie, play video games, or go swimming – mostly during summer vacation. They also participate in school clubs and organizations, such as sports and extra-curricular activities, like drama or Boy Scouts, or a pastime like bowling.

While Staten Island teens are socializing through a balance of traditional activities and technological advancements, parents agree there should be a wider range and more affordable options here for teenagers so they can rely less on social media to supplement their free time and learn how to communicate and socialize face to face — the old-fashioned way.

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Parents like Ms. Harkins, recalled their childhoods filled with many old-fashioned, creative, or simple, cost-free activities that built social skills, friendships, and memories.

Ms. Harkins remembers when she “jumped on a bike, rode to a friend’s house, rang a doorbell to see if they could come out,” she said. “If not, you went on to the next house and so on. If you were lucky and you were able to get everyone out, it was a game of manhunt, kick the can, stickball, and street hockey.”

Others said there could be more options to entice teens off of their devices to become more active and engaged in traditional socializing methods.

“There are not enough places for them to socialize without it costing money or looking like they are a gang of kids causing trouble,” McAlpin said. “When I was a teen, we walked far distances around the neighborhood and sat in front of each others’ houses,” she said. “Today my kids think it is crazy to walk far distances or hang out outside.”

Ms. Bilotto agreed that socializing has taken on a whole new meaning thanks to social media and technology. “Some children are so connected to devices from such an early age, that they don’t even know how to have a conversation with someone,” Ms. Bilotto said. She grew up in Richmondtown where spending the afternoon running through the woods, or skating on ponds in the winter rivaled no other way of socializing.

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“No one really wanted to be inside,” she said. “There wasn’t a lot to do. If you were inside, you were listening to music, playing a game, or reading a book.”

“I think part of the problem today is that so many parents have to work and they don’t want their kids outside when they are not home,” Ms. Bilotto explained. “It’s just not as safe anymore. Our parents weren’t afraid to let us out — they wanted us out. We met up at the schoolyard; you knew when to be home,” she added.

A typical Friday and Saturday night for Ms. Harkins and her friends would include rollerskating in the street with a radio until the lights came on.

“Unfortunately, most kids these days will never experience staying out until your name is called from the front steps of your house, where it echoed through the neighborhood,” Ms. Harkins said.

By Staten Island-based writer Christine Albano, who is a mother of three teenagers who all socialize via Snapchat, and enjoy spending days at the beach in the summer. Her sons, 19 and 15, use Xbox, and PlayStation, and enjoy playing and watching sports; while her 13-year-old daughter enjoys hip-hop and lyrical dance, ice skating, and hanging out at the mall.

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“John just took my train! I had it first.”

How many times do our children run up to us to share a grievance toward another child? Generally these complaints involve rules that have been broken. We spend a lot of time teaching our kids “the rules” — use your inside voice, share your toys with your friends, keep your hands to yourself, etc. The list goes on. It’s natural for a child (and even us adults) to want to call attention to perceived rule breaking, but “Do not tattle” can also become a new rule for your child to follow.

Why rules work
Rules are important because kids tend to be egocentric, focused on their own experiences and perspectives. It can be difficult for a young child to put himself in another child’s shoes and think about the way his actions affect that child.

For this reason, it’s much more effective to tell your young son that he needs to let his friend have a turn using his toy rather than explaining to him that his friend is feeling disappointed because he’d like a turn. Even though your child may see that John is upset that he hasn’t had a chance to play with the toy, he will more easily understand that John should get a turn because sharing is the rule.

So, until your child begins to develop empathy skills, guidance and rules are the most effective methods of keeping order. Tattling can become one of those rules, even if it’s a tricky one to master.

Why kids tattle
Rules work well with young children because their cognitive and moral development allows for mastering a set of simple instructions, and they are motivated to receive praise from adults for following them. For these reasons, kids usually believe it’s the right thing to do to tattle on kids who break the rules. Kids may even think that they are being helpful when they tattle, and might expect praise for it. Tattling is a natural response to learning about rules, but your child can learn that it is not necessary in every rule-breaking situation.

Keep in mind too that sometimes children tattle for other reasons beyond rule breaking, such as getting attention from grownups or because they want a peer to get in trouble. This leads to a complicated situation: Children need an explicit rule not to tattle on other children … and an understanding that we do want them to report some rule violations to adults. We should always keep in mind how illogical this may seem to young children when we start thinking a child should intuitively know when to tell and when not to tattle.

When is it tattling?
A child who has been drilled to follow rules takes them very seriously, leading them to tattling on friends and siblings no matter how minor the misbehavior. However, there are some simple ways to help your child understand the difference between tattling and alerting a grownup when an important rule is being broken.

1. Understand the difference
Tattling is reporting a peer’s wrongdoing, when the situation is safe and the child can handle it herself.
Telling is alerting adults that the situation is not safe and/or your child needs help managing the situation.

Tattling to get a peer in trouble can be mean-spirited.
Telling to protect a peer from harm is civic-minded or showing concern for others.

2. Give children tools and words
Children may be able to solve a minor problem themselves if they can identify the problem and use their words effectively to express their frustrations. As situations arise, help him or her figure out ways to approach a similar situation in the future. For example, if your child is being rushed at the water fountain, he can say, “It’s my turn” to the child who is being impatient. If someone calls his friend an unkind name, he can say, “That’s my friend. Don’t talk to him like that!” But if it keeps happening, or the bully is a bigger kid or is being scary, then it’s time to tell the teacher.

3. Give concrete examples
Tattling: “He touched my lunchbox!”
Telling: “She took my lunch!”

Tattling: “She took one of the blocks I wanted to use!”
Telling: “He pushed the block tower on top of me!”

In the tattling examples, neither scenario caused an unsafe situation and might have been solved if children used their words to talk through the problem. However, in both of the telling examples, there is potential for a harmful situation that would best be resolved by an adult – making sure each child was able to eat lunch and making sure no one was hurt from a falling block tower.

4. Give reminders
The first few times a child tattles, grownups should gently remind children of the difference between tattling and telling: tattling is not necessary, but telling is. “If someone is about to be hurt, tell me. If no one is being hurt, try to work it out among yourselves.”

When children are young, tattling behavior can be effectively shaped by adults’ responses to the tattling. A child who tattles can be reminded that the perceived rule breaking harmed no one and to return to play, whereas a child who tells can be rewarded for looking out for his peers. As children get older and continue developing social skills, they’ll begin to use these social and problem-solving skills to avoid tattling, but also understand that being a good friend means involving adults when more help is needed.

By Jamie M. Howard, PhD, a clinical psychologist in the Anxiety and Mood Disorders Center and the director of the Trauma and Resilience Service at the Child Mind Institute.

As adults we all know how important a good night’s sleep is. Having a poor, restless night’s sleep can result in many physical and psychological problems. These same complications can occur in children with sleep disorders.

Pediatric Sleep-disordered Breathing (PSDB) is a condition that can affect children. A National Sleep Foundation poll indicated that two out of three children under 10 years of age have experienced a sleep problem. Several studies have indicated that these sleep problems can have an enormous impact on a child’s development.

It is recommended that children and adolescents get at least 9 hours of sleep each night. Sleep disorders can result in a significant lower amount of time asleep each night, resulting in behavior issues, acting out, agitation, outbursts and memory issues. Poor sleep can also impact a child’s performance in school, leading to declining grades in reading, writing and math. Some studies also suggest that restless sleep in children can present symptoms of depression and anxiety disorders.

Fewer than 1 in 6 pediatricians surveyed by the American Academy of Pediatrics reported feeling confident about their ability to offer guidance to parents about children’s sleep.

“Do you know how challenging the day can be when you’ve had a poor night of sleep, say, from a head cold? Well that’s what every night is like for a child affected by Pediatric Sleep-disordered Breathing”, explained Tara A. Clancy, founder of Nurturing Literacy. Ms. Clancy received a Masters Degree in Educational Psychology, with a specialization in Remedial Reading from Columbia University, Teachers College.

Ms. Clancy continued, “Sleep disorders can affect a child’s thinking and behavior, all day long. Of course, reading is impacted as well. Research shows that PSDB affects a child’s attention and phonological processing, which are both critical for a child to develop fluent reading skills. 25% of kids exhibiting ADHD behaviors are actually dealing with PSDB.”

Pediatric Dentists can help identify conditions

According to the American Sleep and Breathing Academy, “The primary roles of the pediatric dentist and orthodontist are to identify physical exam findings that may impact sleep behavior and to make appropriate referrals. Common abnormal findings on the oral examination of children include tonsillar hypertrophy, dental malformations secondary to thumb sucking or pacifier use, palate deformations, evidence of bruxism, malocclusion, and other craniofacial anomalies.  Positive physical findings, along with a brief sleep-screening questionnaire can provide excellent evidence to warrant a referral to a pediatric sleep specialist for further investigation. “ 

Signs of Sleep Disorders In Children

If your child exhibits any of these signs discuss them with your pediatrician.

• Excessive Daytime Sleepiness (EDS)
• Trouble sleeping
• Snoring
• Nightmares
• Night terrors
• Sleep walking
• Bed wetting

Signs of Pediatric Sleep-disordered Breathing – C.O.N.E

Look for these 4 signs when your child is awake;

C – Crowded Teeth

O – Open Mouth

N – Noisy Breathing

E – Elongated Face

Suggestions to improve your child’s sleep

• Set bedtime and wake up time and don’t deviate from it.
• Relaxing bedtime routine; Bath or bedtime story
• Avoid drinks with caffeine less than 6 hours before bed
• Avoid giving children large meals before bed
• No electronics at bedtime and end TV and video games at least one hour before bed.

Learn more about Pediatric Sleep-disordered Breathing (PSDB) and Tracy A, Clancy at http://nurturingliteracy.com/about/

How Baseball Helped Nico Russo Win the Fight of His Life

Nico playing in Mid Island men’s league. Photo by Jim Leary.

You’d never know by Nico Russo’s easy-going nature what a fighter he is.

The infielder for Bario’s Marlins in the Mid-Island Men’s Baseball League smiles a lot, especially when he’s at the field.

Truth is, Nico has plenty of reason to smile. Six years ago, just before his sophomore year at New Dorp High School,  he lost his ability to play sports — and nearly lost his life.

He contracted hemophagocytic hymphohistiocytosis, or HLH, a rare, life-threatening immunodeficiency. With a bit of good fortune, great doctors and hard work, Nico not only survived, but achieved his goal of playing high school baseball. And now he gives back, helping others with the illness realize there is hope while raising funds to help others get the same opportunity he had.

“We’re so proud of him,” his mom, Eleonora Russo, said. Nico, who turned 21 in August, played in the Staten Island Little League and Verrazano Babe Ruth League. When he got to high school, he played football only as a freshman, but was hoping to play varsity baseball like his father, Vince, did.

Nico’s plan was to stay with football as a sophomore and then try out for baseball as a junior. But the summer before his sophomore year, he found himself in the fight of his life.

One day, while attending summer classes in 2011, his legs began to feel weak and he started feeling sick. He went home early that day thinking his illness was mild, but the coming days proved it to be anything but. “My legs felt really tired and my eyes and skin were very yellow,” said Nico.

His mom called his pediatrician, Dr. Vincent Broillet, who insisted Nico be brought immediately to the emergency room at Staten Island University Hospital North upon hearing the symptons. “Dr. Broillet told us I was the sickest child in the hospital,” Nico said.

Eleanora confided something more frightening. “His organs were shutting down. We were told he might have only hours to live,” she said. Originally thinking their son was fighting a flu, the Russos suddenly found themselves conducting “a prayer vigil beside his bed in the ICU.”

But the family’s prayers were quickly answered.

“Out of nowhere, we were told that a doctor who wasn’t supposed to get there until September had arrived a month early,” said Eleonora, “She just so happened to be an HLH specialist.”

Dr. Sarah Vaiselbuh treated Nico for HLH, which in his case was triggered by the Epstein-Barr virus, causing his white blood cells to attack his body. Besides the yellow skin, his urine was cola black.

“HLH is fatal if not diagnosed quickly and properly,” Eleonora said. “There are so few doctors trained in recognizing and treating HLH that it often goes undetected. Many patients die before it can be diagnosed.”

The treatment was similar to that used to fight leukemia. His month in the hospital consisted of chemotherapy, steroids and cyclosporine pills, six blood transfusions and bone marrow tests. The treatment caused Nico to initially gain 90 pounds.

Once home, he couldn’t go outside for a year, meaning he had to be homeschooled during his sophomore year. Anyone who visited had to be disinfected. Obviously, participating in sports was out of the question.

“That was what upset me most,” Nico said. “It was a really hard time.” He was determined to get back into shape so he could at least realize his goal of playing baseball at New Dorp. He returned to school as a junior, but didn’t try out. He still had a lot of weight to lose, and started a diet and workout plan.

That June, Nico signed up to play baseball again after being away from the game for two years. “Getting in the batter’s box for the first time was nerve-wracking,” said Nico. “In my first 17 at bats, I had 17 strikeouts.”

But he refused to quit. And his parents were thrilled by his mere presence on the field.

“It didn’t really feel like Nico was truly healthy until he started playing baseball again,” said Vince.

When he wasn’t playing for his team, Nico worked out with his dad, who played high school baseball at Lafayette in Brooklyn. But then came another obstacle. At the beginning of Nico’s senior year in 2014 he bruised his ribs and had to miss baseball tryouts. New Dorp coach Ray Smith, however, gave him a chance to try out during practice sessions, and Nico was added to the roster.

“It was a great feeling and I loved the team,” said Nico, “It was definitely the best year of high school for me.”

These days, besides attending the College of Staten Island and working, Nico is helping to spread awareness of HLH. He has started his own foundation for HLH, selling bracelets that read “Heal, Love, Hope (HLH)),” and supports the annual run/walk at Hudson River Park called the 5K to Fight Histio each summer. Also, plans for a fundraiser are in the works to benefit Dr. Vaiselbuh’s HLH research group and the pediatric center at Staten Island University Hospital.

“Although Nicolas has made huge improvements and is now in remission for almost two years, it will be another three years before we are certain that he is truly healthy,” Eleonora said. “He has truly been a warrior, accepting all these new and unexpected challenges without complaint. His only wish has been for us to help him raise money and awareness for other families fighting this horrific disease.”

By Mike & Joe LoVerde
Local sportswriter Joe LoVerde coached youth sports on Staten Island for nearly 40 years. He’s now joined by his son, Mike, sandlot baseball player on the Island and a senior at Lyndon State College in Vermont, where he’s on the baseball team and majors in Electronic Journalism Arts.