Archives for 2019

As many of us have unfortunately seen, seeing syringes and needles on the streets and properties on Staten Island is becoming an all too frequent sight. It is happening in neighborhoods all across Staten Island, as well as across the country.

We all know heroin and other opioids have reached epidemic proportions on Staten Island and it is not in the shadows anymore. All our efforts to combat it must also be publicized. It will take each and every one of us to be committed to this fight. I will continue to try and help the best I can.

I have received many private messages and texts, and have also been tagged in several posts about needles found in public places. I have visited locations that were sent to me and removed some needles, and then transferred them to a sharps container to discard them.

NYC policy advises residents to call 311 if they observe a needle on public property. When you call 311, they send a request to the Department of Sanitation to collect the syringes from public streets and sidewalks. If the syringe is in a NYC Park, 311 sends the request to the Parks Department for removal. This removal process can take a few days. If the needles are on private property, such as a store parking lot or a homeowner’s lawn, the city will not collect the syringes. The property owner is responsible for removing syringes on their property.

First, remind kids never to pick up a needle or syringe!

If you see any syringes, please feel free to email me cecmike@verizon.net. If I can’t respond to the location to remove them, my friend Dennis McKeon and his outstanding Where to Turn Clean Team will do their best to come remove them info@where-to-turn.org.

If you are comfortable in removing a syringe yourself, please do so, following the procedure outlined here: wear gloves, and be careful to avoid the needle end. Place it in a sharps container– a hard plastic laundry detergent container can be used. Seal the puncture-proof container. Write “SHARPS” on the container and discard it in regular trash. (By labeling the container with the word “SHARPS,” NYC Sanitation is alerted to why the plastic/metal is in regular trash and it will avoid them erroneously issuing a summons for having recyclable in regular trash.)

Important Links & Contact Numbers

To report discarded syringes and/or needles:

• Disposal procedures for sharps and medical waste
http://www1.nyc.gov/assets/dsny/zerowaste/residents/household-medical-waste.shtml

• Report needles/syringes in public areas to 311 here:
http://www1.nyc.gov/nyc-resources/service/2570/syringe-on-sidewalk-or-street

• New York State Department of Environmental Conservation
http://www.dec.ny.gov/chemical/9082.html

To report illegal drug activity:

• Richmond County District Attorney’s Office http://rcda.nyc.gov/initiaves/drughl.html

• RCDA Drug Hotline
(718) 876-5839

• 911 to report outdoor drug use or sale in progress or indoor drug use or sale involving weapons or a dispute

• 311 if you suspect indoor drug activity. This information will be forwarded to the NYPD for investigation.
• www1.nyc.gov/nyc-resources/service/1567/drug-activity-complaint

• NYC Special Narcotics Prosecutor Organized Crime Control Bureau
1-888-374-DRUG (3784)

• NYC Crime Stoppers
1-800-577-TIPS (8477)
a056-crimestoppers.nyc.gov/crimestoppers/public/tip-form.cfm

Information to help build strong investigations and prosecutions:

• The location

• Names or descriptions of suspected dealer and/or buyer

• What type of vehicle, if any, is involved

• What type of drug product is being sold, if known

Raising kids creates clutter. Most families do regular sweeps to get rid of outgrown clothes and toys. And most have favorite places to take donations—the rummage sale at the church, the food pantry for the community, the drop off center for Goodwill. Some community organizations will even pick up the things you no longer need or want. (To find one of these agencies, enter your zip code at donationtown.org.)

And then there are the things that are hard to give away. Perhaps they were expensive—think cellphones and carseats. Or perhaps they are sentimental—think trophies, stuffed animals, books and puzzles. Either way, you feel a twinge when you think about letting them go, so they get stuck in drawers and closets.

The best solution is to find the right destination for these items. Donate to someone who will appreciate them. Get them to a company or organization that can recycle them safely and perhaps creatively. Either way, parting with certain kinds of stuff can be easier if you go the extra mile.  With the options listed below, you’ll have the satisfaction of knowing you made a responsible choice that clears the clutter for you and does something good for others.

Athletic and other shoes

 
Soles4Souls.com has distributed over 30 million pairs of shoes since they were founded after Hurricane Katrina. You can purchase a mailing label or find a drop off site on their website.  They also accept gently used clothing.OneWorldRunning.com sends still-wearable shoes to runners in developing countries. Anything that can’t be worn goes to the Nike-Reuse-A-Shoe program to be recycled into running tracks and playgrounds. Their website also includes drop-off locations in many parts of the country.

Binders

At the end of the school year, most families have a stack of ragged binders. If you turn them in at Staples or Office Max, you’ll get a $2 credit toward a same day purchase of a new binder. Then they’ll recycle the binders with the help of Terracycle, a company that is has partnered with major manufacturers to create innovative recycling programs for everything from toothbrushes and guitar strings to juice pouches and the blister packs from contact lenses. (terracycle.com/en-US/brigades)

Books

Better World books has drop off boxes where they accept books of all kinds. Some are sold on their website and some go to literacy programs overseas. (betterworldbooks.com)

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Carseats

A few organizations are trying to get used carseats into the hands of families that need them.  A state-by-state list is available at recycleyourcarseat.org.

Crayons

Crazy Crayons collects broken, worn or loose crayons.  They will melt them down and turn them into new Eco Star crayons or multi-colored crayons shaped like worms. (crazycrayons.com)

Cellphones.

Even after you’ve disconnected your phone service, the phone can be used to make 911 calls. Secure the Call takes advantage of this fact, collecting phones and then distributing them to senior citizens organizations, domestic violence shelters, police departments and other agencies that can get them into the hands of people who need them.  Their website includes a free mailing label as well as a list of community partners in every state.  (securethecall.org)

Eyeglasses

Lions International collects used eyeglasses as part of their effort to improve vision for people around the world. A list of their recycling centers is available at (tinyurl.com/donateglasses.)

Legos

The plastic in Legos is a kind that can’t usually be recycled, so don’t mix them into the bin. Instead, ship them to Brick Recycler. No need to sort the bricks. They will repackage and get them to hospitals, schools, orphanages and other places where kids will be very happy to have them. (www.brickrecycler.com)

Markers

Crayola collects markers of all kinds and turns them into a clean liquid fuel for vehicles. They pay for shipping via Fedex but your local school will have to set up the collection system. (crayola.com/colorcycle)

Puzzles

Puzzle Warehouse recycles old puzzles by donating them to schools, homeless shelters, churches and jails. If you’re pitching a puzzle because it’s missing a piece or two, they also have a helpful list of piece replacement policies for major puzzle manufacturers in the More section of their website. (puzzlewarehouse.com/Recycle-Your-Puzzles)

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Stuffed animals.

Stuffed Animals for Emergencies gets gently used stuff animals into the hands of children and even service members who need a little comfort. Their website lists chapters in many parts of the country, and they also have advice about how to clean stuffed animals in preparation for donation. (stuffedanimalsforemergencies.org)

Trophies:

Some companies that make trophies reuse the parts to make new trophies. If nobody in your community does this, you might want to ship surplus trophies to the National Trophy Recycling program. (Tinyurl.com/donatetrophies)

Everything else

Freecycle runs a grassroots network made up of over 9 million members, organized into 5,298 local groups. Membership is free, and each group is moderated by a local volunteer. Once you sign up, you can list almost anything and, in all likelihood, it will be discovered by someone in your community who will be delighted to have it. (freeycle.org)

Of course, you aren’t the only family that has stuff you want to discard. Many of the groups listed above provide everything you need to start a community collection drive—an activity that might double as a fundraiser or a community service project. Whether you donate on your own or with your neighbors, all of these programs do three important things: Keep useable stuff out of the local landfill. Get things into the hands of people who can use them. And get all that clutter out of your house! That’s a win-win-win!

Carolyn Jabs, M.A., has been writing about families and technology for over twenty years. She is also the author of Cooperative Wisdom: Bringing People Together When Things Fall Apart, a book that describes a highly effective way to address conflict in families, schools and communities. Available at Amazon and cooperativewisdom.org. 

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Relationships can bring out the best in people, especially when couples share similar interests and goals. But even the most solid relationships can be put to the test by those bumps in the road that everyone faces from time to time.

Just as men and women must work to build strong physiques in the gym, they also must put forth effort to strengthen their relationships. People who aspire to strengthen communication with their partners and improve conflict resolution can benefit from a number of strategies.

Don’t expect a mind reader. Do not wait for your partner to spell out how he or she is feeling, or you may never get to the root of a given issue. You must start the conversation before real change can begin. Find a time when you are both rested, well fed and not distracted by any other responsibilities. Allow your partner to express his or her feelings, and then explain your needs as well.

Curtail criticism and blaming. According to experts at The Family & Marriage Counseling Directory®, criticizing is the adult version of crying. It’s a method of relieving stress and showing distress. But inflicting pain on others will not get them to bend to your wishes.

Keep outside interests a priority. Your spouse, boyfriend or girlfriend cannot provide for all of your needs. Expecting him or her to fill every role can lead to tension. Having outside friends, interests and a social network is a healthy idea. Just try to find a balance between that world and the world inside your home.

Spend quality time together. As relationships evolve and jobs, children and other influences are mixed in, it can be challenging to find the time to spend with each other and no one else. Make this a priority, as The HelpGuide.com team, a group of seasoned mental health professionals and writers, says time spent together is critical for your relationship. Without quality time your ability to communicate may begin to erode.

Consider professional help. Seeking the advice of a counselor, whether a licensed social worker or physiologist, is not a sign of weakness. It just means you are willing to do whatever you need to foster a strong relationship. A therapist may suggest strategies you never thought of, which can be useful for growing closer and/or resolving problems.

Laugh whenever possible. Try to put a positive spin on anything. Jokes and laughter (not snarkiness) can diffuse tense situations. Look to laughter as a way to bond with your partner.

Focus on being caring. Do nice things for your partner without requiring anything in return. Remember what your partner likes and begin doing those things again.

Aren’t we all a little guilty of labeling other moms? Sure, we all share the common goal of nurturing a happy, healthy family, and we make different choices to get there. But just for fun, have you ever considered what “mom” category you most likely fall into?

It’s a busy school night. What’s for dinner?

1. Tofu stir-fry
2. Pizza
3. Crockpot meal
4. Hotdogs
5. Mac and cheese
6. One of your wholesome pre-made meals from the freezer

Your family pet is a:

1. Rescue dog or cat
2. Cat or purse-sized puppy
3. Golden retriever or a labrador
4. A boxer or German shepherd
5. Dogs, cats, fish, gerbils…we have a houseful
6. Zhu Zhu Pet

Your kids want to go to an amusement park with friends. You:

1. Say okay, but with strict instructions that they are not to eat anything with artificial colors.
2. Warn them not to ruin those jeans you got them. They cost a fortune.
3. Look online to see if there are any coupon deals.
4. Insist on going, too. You are never too old for roller coasters!
5. Say no problem and offer to drive.
6. Agree, but secretly begin agonizing about the safety of the rides.

Your 13-year-old daughter is begging for the latest cellphone. You say:

1. No way. You can use a flip phone when you need to reach me.
2. Yes, let’s go shopping!
3. Okay, but first we are going to draw up a contract together and discuss the rules and responsibilities of owning a smartphone.
4. Well, I don’t want you to be the only one of your friends who doesn’t have one.
5. Sure, whatever. Let’s add you to the family plan.
6. Are you kidding? A phone will expose your developing brain to harmful radiation.

Your child has an early morning soccer game. You are most likely to wear:

1. Yoga pants and an organic cotton t-shirt.
2. Designer jeans, Ugg boots, hip jacket and a cute hat.
3. Comfy jeans and your favorite t-shirt.
4. Team shirt, capris and a great attitude.
5. Oops, forgot to do laundry. Pull on something relatively clean.
6. Soccer causes concussions. My kids don’t play soccer.

You relax by:

1. Making homemade soaps and gardening.
2. Shopping and a spa day.
3. Relax? What?
4. Cheering on your favorite team.
5. Sleeping in and watching old movies.
6. Cleaning and organizing.

A vacation for your family looks like:

1. Camping.
2. Relaxing at a beach-side resort.
3. Disney World and a full schedule of activities.
4. Wherever my child’s tournament is also being played.
5. A leisurely drive to your destination with stops at historical landmarks and tourist attractions along the way.
6. Family lake house.

How many extracurricular activities is each of your children in?

1. 0-2
2. 2-3
3. 4-5
4. 6+
5. I don’t have a clue.

Your car:

1. Has a picture of the earth on it.
2. Is detailed at least once a month.
3. Has your website on the rear windshield.
4. Features decals of your kids’ names and the sports they play.
5. Is littered with crumbs, sippy cups and toys.
6. Is meticulously clean.

Your friend invites you to join her for a manicure. You say:

1. Come over! I’ll show you how to do an inexpensive, all-natural mani that you’ll love.
2. Sure, I could use a little pampering.
3. I’d love to and then post a photo of the two of you enjoying your time on Facebook.
4. Absolutely! I wonder if they can put a baseball design on my nails?
5. Fun! Let’s have lunch, too!
6. Hmmm. Does this place clean their tools between clients?

Your favorite work-out is:

1. Om! Yoga all the way.
2. Tennis.
3. Jazzercize. Group exercise is motivating.
4. Running. Walking is for whiners.
5. Chasing my kids.
6. Weights and cardio with a personal trainer.

Your toddler has a melt-down at the store. You:

1. Hand him homemade fruit leather you stashed in your purse. He is quickly appeased.
2. Are surprised. This undesirable behavior clearly runs on your husband’s side.
3. Take a photo of your screaming tot and post it to Facebook with the breezy status “Another day in paradise!” Your friends quickly commiserate.
4. Annoyed, you pick him up, abandon the cart and flee the store.
5. Allow him to carry on. He’s only embarrassing himself.
6. Get worried and wonder if he is acting out because he is coming down with something.

Your parenting mantra is:

1. “Eat real food. Live simply. Recycle like there is no tomorrow.”
2. “To be the best mom, you have to take care of yourself.”
3. “Need something done? Ask a busy mom!”
4. “Winners never quit and quitters never win.”
5. “Keep calm and carry on.”
6. “Cleanliness is next to godliness!”

You organize your family by:

1. Using an old-fashioned day-planner.
2. Hiring a virtual assistant.
3. Plugging everything into your smartphone.
4. Recording all activities on the family wall calendar, color-coded according to the family member.
5. Taking a fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants approach. It will all work out.
6. Each person has a folder

On the first day of school. You:

1. Sadly drop your child off and start researching how to home school.
2. Skip through the morning routine singing “It’s the most wonderful day of the year!”
3. Post Instagram photos of your kids dressed for the first day in Pinterest-inspired poses.
4. Give your kids a pep talk before dropping them off.
5. Weep at the passing of another summer.
6. Deliver an extra supply of disinfectant wipes to the teacher.

Your kids are performing in the school musical. You:

1. Prepare a healthy dinner before performance time. Good food will help them focus.
2. Work with the music teacher to ensure the costume designs are just right.
3. Arrive an hour and half before performance time. How else are you going to visit with friends and get a good seat for your YouTube recording?
4. Rehearse daily with your kids. You would be mortified if they screwed up.
5. Remind your kids to practice their lines and assume they have it under control.
6. Stay awake worrying the night before. What if a piece of equipment falls on their heads? Could they fall off of the stage? You’ve heard about these things happening.

If most of your answers were:

A – Crunchy Mama

From food to cleansers, you take an all-natural approach to life. You are committed to a healthy lifestyle and to feeding your family wholesome, unprocessed foods. You either belong to a Community Supported Agriculture (CSA) for locally sourced foods or you grow your own. You typically shop at places like Whole Foods and Sprouts with your cloth bags in hand. If you wear makeup, you keep it simple. You opted for a natural birth with your children, hired a doula and had a birth plan in place when you were pregnant. You have a “breast is best” philosophy for feeding your babies. You may have opted to homeschool your kids.

What others admire about you: Your commitment to living a more holistic, simpler life.

B – Butterfly Mama

You rarely have a hair out of place and other moms are constantly wondering how you manage to look so classy and put together all of the time. You have a quiet confidence and own your fashionable style. You not only care about how you look, you also have the attitude that self-care is important to being a better mother. Your home further reflects your creativity and is a show stopper that is as comfortable as it is stylish. Whether you shop at garage sales or high-end department stores, you always know what looks good and your kids generally share your sense of style.

What others admire about you: Your charming personality and fashion sense.

C – Connected Mama

Social media has created a perfect storm of connection for you. You not only get to chat daily with friends and family from afar, you can share entertaining bits and pieces of your daily life with friends who may be right around the corner. Networking comes with ease and you manage to find friends where ever you go. You frequently organize moms night outs, get togethers and events. Your smart phone is your favorite device. Of all the moms listed, you are probably the most sleep deprived. But you thrive on busyness and tend to be exceptionally organized.

What others admire about you: Your vast network and your resourcefulness.

D – Sports Mama

You love sports as much as your kids. Your competitive nature can get you a little riled up during games. You push your children to always do their best whether in school, sports or life. You typically wear your hair in a pony tail, sporting a sun visor and a t-shirt that says “Baseball/Soccer/Football Mom.” You come to games prepared with a cooler full of healthy snacks, bottled water, blankets, an umbrella and a comfortable bleacher chair. Your favorite mode of transportation is your SUV or minivan to accommodate the sports equipment, random water bottles and any team members who need rides. As something of a mother hen, you carry a first-aid kit and can always be depended on to offer praise and encouragement to every player.

What others admire about you: Your can-do, up-beat and playful personality.

E – Free Spirit Mama

You tend to take a go-with-the-flow approach to life and prefer to live for the present. Your favorite outfit is whatever is clean and ready to throw on first thing in the morning. You don’t let a screaming child rush you into decisions you aren’t comfortable with. You aren’t one to hurry to urgent care the minute your child sneezes, falls or nibbles on some sand. You don’t worry too much about the daily messes and chaos of life. Your attitude is that inconveniences and frustrations will sort themselves out eventually. For now, you say, let’s celebrate the moments and embrace the journey.

What others admire about you: Your reliable, even-keeled sense of calm.

F – Mama Bear

Committed to the health and wellness of the family, you are an avid reader of medical news and child development books. You tend to worry about your family frequently and pay close attention to any sniffles or complaints of body aches. You frequently evaluate if your kids’ behavior is due to illness, allergy or some other disorder and you aren’t shy about consulting with the pediatrician. Your kids knew about stranger danger and how germs spread before any other kid on the block. You keep a bottle of hand sanitizer in the car, the house and in your purse. You are happiest in a clean, well-organized environment.

What others admire about you: Your nurturing, fiercely protective spirit.

By Christa Melnyk Hines, a freelance writer and mom of two children, ages 9 and 11. Her newest book is Happy, Healthy & Hyperconnected: Raise a Thoughtful Communicator in a Digital World.