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Archives for 2020

Archives for 2020

10 Ways to Make Homework Time Easier

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bored kid

Now that school is in-person again, most parents are very relieved to be off teacher duty. However, the after-school homework wars wage on in many households. If you’re looking for help with getting your kids to focus during homework time, here are some tips to make it easier on everyone.

Designate a workspace

Whether it’s a bedroom desk or the kitchen table, the area should be clean and quiet. Clear away anything not related to homework and have all the necessary materials nearby.

Limit distractions

Shut the TV and put away all phones, games, and electronics. Try to limit noise and, if possible, separate siblings. Headphones are a must.

Pick the right time—and stick to it.

If you’re child is not required to be logged in at a specific time, figure out when he is likely to be the most focused. He should be completing work at this same time every day.

Use the teacher’s way

WE know, we know, it’s tempting. You learned it a different way when you were in school and it’s soooo much easier to explain that way. But if you deviate from the method your child learned in class you will probably confuse her further.

Plan ahead

Your child won’t gain anything from burning the midnight oil when a report is due the next day. Purchase a large calendar to organize assignments, taking care to hang it in a spot that is visible to all family members. Homeschool or not, due dates are due dates.

Take breaks

Grade school children will generally stay focused for only a brief period of time, as little as just 15 minutes. Let your child work in increments, allowing for a short break to relax in between assignments. Just be sure to restrict the use of electronics during breaks.

Praise a job well done.

When you notice your child working hard, let her know you are proud of her. A little verbal praise can go a long way in boosting confidence and self-esteem. If you choose to reward her extra effort with a treat, keep it simple so as not to confuse the motivation.

Be helpful—but not too helpful

Stay close by and offer help if needed, but don’t do the work for him. Answer questions with other questions, and encourage your child to come to his own conclusions.

Talk to the teacher

If you feel that your child is overloaded with work or that the assignments are simply too lengthy or difficult, don’t be afraid to speak with the teacher. Perhaps you can come up with a solution together, or discover whether there is a deeper issue at hand. Teachers are more accessible now than ever.

Stay healthy

Good eating habits, an early bedtime, and regular exercise are all key components in keeping your child as productive and focused throughout the day as possible. You should continue to set an alarm to wake up at the same time every day (at least on weekdays), and kids should be spending time outside in the backyard or on nature walks with parents.

By Jeannine Cintron, a Staten Island mom of two who hope to master the art of homework by the time the kids are done with college.

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All About Auld Lang Syne (the New Year’s song)

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New Year’s Eve festivities peak when the official countdown of the clock begins. After the ball drops and midnight has arrived, revelers cheer to the new year and exchange kisses and well wishes, and then often begin to sing (or more likely, mumble through) Auld Lang Syne. But few know what Auld Lang Syne means or why it is sung on New Year’s Eve. Confusion regarding this song is almost as notable as the tradition of singing it. It has been the butt of jokes in popular culture, even earning a nod in the movie When Harry Met Sally. Harry laments to Sally that he never quite understood what the song meant and ponders whether it is about forgetting about friends or remembering them. Sally sums it up by saying the song is simply about old friends.

For those of you who, like Harry, have wondered about this tradition, here is some quick trivia to pass along while friends are singing their hearts out. Couple that with the actual lyrics and you might just turn some heads on New Year’s Eve.

Auld Lang Syne is a Scottish composition that is well over 200 years old. Written by Robert Burns in the 1700s, it was originally a poem that was later put to the tune of a traditional folk song. The title translates roughly in English as “old long since,” or “long, long ago.” The song pays homage to times gone by and past experiences. Its connection with the stroke of midnight during New Year’s Eve festivities likely began with Canadian musician Guy Lombardo, whose band used Auld Lang Syne as a bridge between two radio programs during a live New Year’s Eve performance in 1929.

There are many variations of the lyrics for Auld Lang Syne; here’s an English version suitable to get you through the first few minutes of the year:

Auld Lang Syne

Should old acquaintances be forgotten,
and never brought to mind?
Should old acquaintances be forgotten,
and days of auld lang syne?

    Chorus:  
    For auld lang syne, my dear
    for auld lang syne;
    we will take a cup of kindness yet,
    for days of auld lang syne.

And surely you’ll buy your pint cup
and surely I’ll buy mine!
And we'll take a cup o’ kindness yet
for days of auld lang syne. 

    Chorus

We two have run about the slopes
and picked the daisies fine;
but we’ve wandered many a weary foot
since days of long ago.

    Chorus

We two have paddled in the stream
from noon until dinnertime,
but seas between us broad have roared
since days of auld lang syne.

    Chorus

And there is a hand, my trusty friend
and give us a hand of yours,
and we will take a right goodwill drink
for days of auld lang syne.

    Chorus

If you’re a bit more adventurous or drunk, try Burns’ original Scots version:

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Auld Lang Syne (original Scots)

Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
and never brought to mind?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
and auld lang syne?

Chorus:  
     For auld lang syne, my jo,
     for auld lang syne,
     we'll tak' a cup o' kindness yet,
     for auld lang syne.

And surely ye'll be your pint-stoup!
and surely I'll be mine!
And we'll tak' a cup o’ kindness yet,
for auld lang syne.

    Chorus

We twa hae run about the braes,
and pou'd the gowans fine;
But we've wander'd mony a weary fit,
sin' auld lang syne.

    Chorus

We twa hae paidl'd in the burn,
frae morning sun till dine;[b]
But seas between us braid hae roar'd
sin' auld lang syne.

    Chorus

And there's a hand, my trusty fiere!
and gie's a hand o' thine!
And we'll tak' a right gude-willie waught,
for auld lang syne.

    Chorus

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Honoring Veterans: How to Show Your Support

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Staten Island is a very patriotic place, as substantiated by the number of memorials dotting the island. Among these are parks, highways, and boulevards honoring those who have served in our military. Several of our high schools recognize their military alumni with memorials of their own, as well.

Veterans Memorial Hall at Snug Harbor; WWII Veterans War Memorial Ice Skating Rink at Clove Lakes Park; Vietnam Veterans Memorial Park in West Brighton; Great Kills Veterans Memorial; and Father Capodanno Boulevard are all nods to the brave men and women who have defended the liberties and freedoms of our country. They hold a special place in our hearts and an eternal spot in their country’s history.

>>> Military veterans can enjoy discounts at local businesses offering discounts. Share with the vet in your life!

Any opportunity is a good time to commemorate the bravery and selfless deeds of military personnel but November 11th is designated especially as a time to thank veterans for their service, as the day commemorates the anniversary of the end of World War I on the 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month of 1918.

The following are just a handful of ways to show appreciation for military men and women.

  • When dining out, ask your server if you can pay the tab for a soldier or veteran you see in the restaurant.
  • Attend a military parade with your family and explain the significance of the day to your children.
  • Draft letters and send care packages to soldiers currently in service far away from home.
  • Ask your company if Veterans Day can be an observed holiday at your place of business each year to pay homage to servicemen and women.
  • Support a military family in your town who may be missing a loved one stationed elsewhere. Make meals, help with chores such as grocery shopping, or simply provide emotional support.
  • Volunteer time at a veterans’ hospital. You may be able to read with veterans or engage in other activities.
  • Get involved with a military support charity that can provide much-needed funds to struggling families or disabled veterans.
  • Have children speak with veterans you know– in your family or with friends. It can help them gain perspective on the important roles the military plays.
  • Ask a veteran to give a speech at a school or to be the guest of honor at a special function.
  • Drive disabled veterans to doctors’ appointments or to run any errands.
  • Support a local VFW organization.
  • Create a scrapbook for a veteran in your life.
  • Cheer for or thank military personnel each time you see them.
  • Visit the veterans’ portion of a nearby cemetery and place poppies or other flowers on the graves.
  • Always keep the military on your mind and never forget those who have served and didn’t return home.
  • Visit a military memorial near you.

>>> Read Staten Island Parent Editor Jeannine Cintron’s story of having her first child during her husband’s deployment and why it’s so important to thank veterans for their sacrifices and service.

>>> See some special tributes to veterans from Staten Island, contributed by their proud family members.

Want more info like this? Get our newsletters packed with ideas, events, and information for parents in Staten Island.

Fear of the Dark: Rite of Passage or Destructive Emotion?

By

fear of the dark

If you go to the library to find some resources on helping your children get over the fear of the dark; you’ll probably be hard pressed to find very much. Although the fear of the dark is said to plague millions of children, it is still a subject that most parents know very little about.

Most parents will end up willing to do just about anything after frustration and exhaustion takes over. You hear of children sleeping with their parents for weeks, if not months. Parents hire therapists to help their kids overcome such anxieties and many children are simply left to deal with their fears on their own. While most methods have their validity, some are more effective than others.

Whether you’re an involved parent or more of a passive one, spending just a little time to help your kids through this difficult stage can have an impact for their rest of their lives. In a simple way, dealing with the fear of the dark is probably one of the earliest fears a child is confronted with. As parents, this is a great opportunity to help them know how to deal with fears in general. Many may argue that this is just a rite of passage for kids, but the fear of the dark lingers into adulthood for thousands of people and it can give rise to other fears. Rites of passage are intended for the betterment of a person, but allowing fear to accumulate over prolonged periods of time and with no boundaries can be the start down a path of destructive emotions.

The younger the child, the less that they can separate their fantasies from reality. A simple traumatic experience or an innocent experience taken out of context can haunt a child for years. Being conscious as a parent of your child’s struggle is ultimately going to help determine the outcome of their struggle. Below are ten things you can start doing tonight to give the gift of peaceful sleep to your child.

Engage with your child

A firefighter never faced real fire prior to having sufficient training away from the hot zone.  Don’t wait till fear strikes before you engage in conversations about fear with your child.  Assume that your children will deal with at least one major fear or several growing up so start planning now.   What does fear look like in your child? What brings out fearful emotions in them? Finally, how does your child respond when confronted with fear?

Identify the triggers

Every child is different and the same goes to how they respond to circumstances and even their own imagination.   Does the television in your house spur frightful thoughts, does the tension in your home create undo anxiety in your child or did your child have a traumatic experience that you haven’t made sure that your child is dealing with properly?  The better you know your child, the better you can help them through these challenges.

Deal with fear properly

The old saying is true that kids will do what you do, not what you say.  If you struggle with fear yourself and fail to deal with it properly, more than likely your kids will follow suit.  Get some help, identify the triggers and engage a friend or a spouse to help you stay courageous.   Your kids will learn more from how you deal with fear than they will reading ten books about it.

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Declare war on fear

Fear is one of the most destructive emotions your child can give into.  Fear keeps people back when they should be moving forward, fear destroys relationships, it hampers personal growth and it can lead people down enslaved paths of destructive emotions.  Don’t allow fear to take root in your family. Rid it wherever it claims land in your household and your children will be that much better for it.

Rearrange the room

Often times a simple rearrangement can mean all the difference to a child struggling with the shadows and strange sounds of a dark night.   Cutting branches away from the window, getting darker shades, closing the closet, facing the bed away from the moonlight are just a few practical ideas.

Enjoy the night

 There are thousands of nighttime wonders to fascinate a child rather than simply being afraid of it.   Our world has so much beauty that we often take for granted what darkness actually reveals.   We tend to think in terms of what darkness hides, but that reality is that darkness opens up a whole new world of glowing insects, nocturnal animals, shooting stars and the wonderful moonlight glow.  Take time to introduce your child to a few of these so they can gain appreciation for the night instead of only being afraid of it.

Find a hero

Find someone that your children can esteem because of their bravery. We all face fear in our lives, but not all people are courageous.  Read examples of men and women who have done brave things despite their fears and remind your children of such stories.   Even children can rise to bravery and courage when faced with an example to live up to.

Slow down

Many parents are so busy dealing with their own problems that they fail to see that their children are going through the same, if not a myriad of their own struggles.   Don’t just assume they’ll work it out, slow your life down to see the details. A well said conversation at the right time can make all the difference and give your child the strength to take on bigger challenges throughout life.

Speak to their identity

Don’t make light of your child’s fear and put them down for it, but rather focus on times that they are strong.   When you say things like “Wow, that was brave,” or “I noticed how strong you were;” you’ve just given your children an upgrade on their armor and they’re ready to meet the next big challenge in their life. Children have enough chiseling at their confidence outside their home, the last thing they need is an unsupportive parent.

Don’t give up

Our kids are some of the greatest investments we have in life, therefore the effort is worth the payoff.   Kids often go through cycles of fear as they face different challenges in life and their imagination grows stronger with age.   This typically isn’t a one night deal where you’ve conquered fear and it will never rear its ugly head again.  Learn to keep watch on important milestones that your child is approaching as new fears or old resurrected ones like to visit again.

About the author: 
Chad Cramer has a bachelor’s degree in business management from Cornerstone University in Grand Rapids, Mich. He currently works for a software company, and is a member of Woodmen Valley Chapel Church in Colorado Springs. In his spare time, Chad enjoys spending time outdoors with his wife and four sons. He has recently published “Lights Out!: Helping Your Kids Overcome Their Fear of the Dark,” a guide for parents in helping their children overcome their fears.

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